1 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,673 How are you feeling? 2 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,051 I'm very tired. 3 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,179 Do you want to do your morning meds? 4 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:59,351 I know the answer, but… you should. 5 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,022 Morning, Selena. 6 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,570 Let me make a promise. 7 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,615 I'll only tell you my darkest secrets. 8 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:20,789 December 19. 9 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,960 I have to stop living like this. 10 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,798 Why have I become so far from the light? 11 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:38,473 Everything I ever wished for, I've had and done all of it… 12 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,273 But it has killed me. 13 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,112 Because there's always Selena. 14 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,740 Selena! 15 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,005 Selena Gomez, the lead single, "Good For You," 16 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,608 was a critical and commercial success. 17 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,301 …recently dubbed the queen of the social networking app. 18 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,636 Hello, Howard. 19 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,346 Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber 20 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,348 - have finally called it quits. - Again? 21 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,909 Really? I don't feel like a rock star. 22 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,060 And this album, Revival, 23 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,271 people are saying that it's going to be number one, 24 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,482 and the tour starts up soon, right? In May? 25 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,108 I'll be touring in May. 26 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,112 I'm actually at the LA Sports Arena. 27 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:40,911 We have two days till I leave and the tour starts. 28 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:45,040 I have my hair and makeup team with me, so we're trying new things every day. 29 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,918 And we're doing tests and figuring out what... You know, 30 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,671 what we're going to do for the show. The identity of the show. 31 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,422 Do we like this? 32 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,342 'Cause you see through the mirror with the white? 33 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,304 I think it's just the sequins. 34 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:02,391 Let me take... I'll take a little bit from the center. Right. 35 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,434 They even have those little vagina things? 36 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,812 - Okay. Yeah. - Maybe those flattened ones. 37 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,356 I don't know. Just got weird. 38 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,944 If I was a guy, I could wear jeans and just switch up my T-shirt 39 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,946 and put a beanie on 40 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,073 and nobody would care. 41 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,742 Actually, I think the breasts are good. 42 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,328 - I don't know. - You like it? 43 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,306 - I do need a little breast. - So formal, "the breasts." 44 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,331 It's my vagina… 45 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,876 - No, it's not. It's just... - …in every freaking costume. 46 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:29,877 - It's not you… - It's... 47 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,671 - …I'm just making fun of myself. - Wait. Come and look here. 48 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,382 - It's not you, it's my vagina. - Literally. It's my vagina. 49 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:41,221 I wanna have the body to wear it proudly, and I want the booty that I don't have. 50 00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,265 - My body's very young. - Yeah. 51 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,351 I don't wanna be like, "Oh, wait." 52 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:50,397 Making sure I look like a woman and not like a twelve-year-old boy. 53 00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,740 I wouldn't wanna be anybody else 54 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:01,992 Yeah 55 00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,538 You made me insecure 56 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,957 Told me I wasn't good enough 57 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:13,712 But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough? 58 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:18,466 I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself 59 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:23,430 But when it comes to me I wouldn't wanna be anybody else 60 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,074 Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na-na 61 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,559 Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na-na 62 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:32,356 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me 63 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,816 Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na 64 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,985 Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na 65 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:41,323 And you've got every right To a beautiful life 66 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,950 Come on Who says? 67 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:47,871 Who says you're not perfect? Who says you're not worth it? 68 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,166 Who says You're the only one that's hurtin'? 69 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,670 Trust me That's the price of beauty 70 00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:57,381 Who says you're not pretty? 71 00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,092 Who says you're not beautiful? 72 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,761 Who says? 73 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:12,729 The dress is too long 74 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,733 And I hate how it opens up 75 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,323 It just sucks. 76 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:28,245 - What's wrong? - All of it. It looks so bad. 77 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,663 I'm just like... 78 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,083 I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. 79 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,670 - What part did you feel that? - From the beginning. 80 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:41,175 So I get the voice that comes in my head that says that you missed this. 81 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,801 That sucked. That suck. 82 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,605 You get a glimpse of yourself on the screen. 83 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,889 Wow, that looks pretty fucking shitty. 84 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:50,225 And then I'm sitting there and I trip over the clothes 85 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,727 and, like, this is just... 86 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,645 - Like, it sucks the life out of me… - Yeah. 87 00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,606 …and I don't want to perform. 88 00:05:55,689 --> 00:06:00,652 The pressure is just overwhelming because I wanna do the best I can 89 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,031 and I'm not... I don't... 90 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,490 I don't know what John thinks. 91 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:09,661 I wanna talk to John 'cause I'm like... I don't want to disappoint John. 92 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:13,415 I don't want him to think that he signed some fucking Disney kid, like... 93 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,601 John was standing there, like, 94 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,019 - smiling ear to ear. - John was excited. 95 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,127 It is in your head. 96 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,672 It just sucks too, 'cause, like, the whole song thing. 97 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:23,800 He called me this morning about the song with Justin, 98 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,969 - and I was like… - The DJ thing, hmm? 99 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,931 "Like, when am I gonna just be good enough by myself?" 100 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:32,017 - Just don't worry about that. - Like, when am I gonna be... like... 101 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,437 When am I gonna be good just by myself? 102 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:38,482 Not needing anybody to be associated with. 103 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,484 - Like, it's so fu... - You already are. 104 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,652 Hi, John. 105 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,781 - I'm so sorry. - What are you sorry about? 106 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,575 I just, like, I don't want you to ever regret signing me… 107 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:51,245 - What? - …or feeling like you need something... 108 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:54,164 - You were amazing. - We were both standing next to you. 109 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,583 The costume looked bad. Everything looked so bad. 110 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,627 You were amazing. I thought it was awesome. 111 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,754 Can I have a hug? I'll give you a hug. 112 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,257 I thought you were amazing. It was so good. 113 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,509 - Really. - "Me and My Girls" was crazy. Like the... 114 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,136 That's it. John was standing there like this. John was like... 115 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,972 I was rocking out to it. It was awesome. 116 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,557 Does it feel young? 117 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,058 - It doesn't feel young. - No. 118 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:17,104 I do... I want nothing more than to not be my past. 119 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,772 And it comes back. 120 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,524 You're your own worst enemy right now. 121 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:25,279 When you get all into your head and it's, like, you can't let it spiral you. 122 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,697 - Costumes can change. - Yeah. 123 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,240 Lights can change. Sets can change. 124 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,718 You wanna get rid of the stage, you can perform on the floor. 125 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,422 What people like and don't like doesn't matter. You have to like it. 126 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,372 You have to feel good about it. It's your show. 127 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,121 Don't beat yourself up over it. It's gonna be great. 128 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,461 - John, thank you. - It's great seeing you. 129 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,672 - Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. - I'll see you soon. 130 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,966 Thank you. No. It really is great. 131 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,551 Thank you. 132 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:02,608 I'm sorry. 133 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,405 It's just too much. 134 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,167 They're coming. 135 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,690 - Theresa? - Hey, girl. 136 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,336 - Did you bring my blood pressure machine? - Yeah. It's right here. 137 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,111 This is for your lupus, right? 138 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,196 Yep. 139 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,742 Now do I press it? Just start? 140 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,499 - That's good, right? - Perfect. 141 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,000 How do you know? 142 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,962 So, 109 over 78 is really good. 143 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:10,050 The average, what you would probably have, is 120 over 78. 144 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,760 But when my blood pressure is high, 145 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:18,684 it's usually 150, 145 to the bottom number being a hundred, 146 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,978 which means I could have a stroke. 147 00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,313 Got it. 148 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:27,109 - So as long as it stays under 120... - Should we keep this in here for tour? 149 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:28,819 Like, in your little… 150 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,737 - I mean, maybe on the bus. - Okay. 151 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,865 It probably should be wherever we are, just in case. 152 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:36,159 We have a gift for you, and then we're gonna leave you alone. 153 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,245 Can you start with this? 154 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,329 This is from me and Zack. 155 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:44,459 This is something we've collected for you, for tour. 156 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:45,961 What is this? 157 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:50,257 Every day, it's a good luck charm word for that night 158 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,818 and that you're going to be thinking of… 159 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,385 You put it on your makeup table. 160 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,054 …for you. And every show is a different one. 161 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,599 - That's so kind. - Oh, my gosh. 162 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,309 - So, look at these. - So sweet. 163 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,810 It kind of made us cry. 164 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,605 Every day you'll choose one. 165 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,732 - That is so beautiful. - Isn't that cool? 166 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,859 - Thank you so much. - We love you so much. 167 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,111 So, my question to you is, 168 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:14,072 do you feel like you have too many meet and greets? 169 00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,658 They have about an hour and a half scheduled. 170 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,219 I don't think it will take that long. 171 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,245 - What do you think? - Sometimes they milk it. 172 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:23,290 - It's my birthday. - It is? Happy birthday. 173 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,559 - Thank you. - How old are you? 174 00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,919 - I'm 13. - Oh, Mylanta. 175 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:29,963 I've been celebrating your birthday every year since I was three. 176 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,107 - My birthday? - I've had bi... 177 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,926 I have birthday parties, cakes, play lists, everything. 178 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:36,845 - You're so sweet. Thank you. - Can we get a picture? 179 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:37,969 - There we go. - So exci... 180 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,598 - Three, two. - Yes. Let's do it. 181 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,392 - So pretty. - Hey, don't cry. 182 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,561 Got it. 183 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,731 And can you put, "Bae number one," right there? 184 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,943 Okay. 185 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,155 Yeah. I got, like, different girls. 186 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,535 - I'm a... - I could be number one? 187 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,954 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. 188 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,252 These two have heard some really inappropriate things. 189 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:14,424 …was Hallelujah Hallelu... 190 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,386 Thank you guys so much for how hard all of you worked. 191 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:21,306 It means more to me than you can even imagine. 192 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,600 This is the most important tour I've ever done, 193 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,978 which is why I've been a mess every day, so that you know. 194 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:29,690 I hope we just go out there, inspire people, have so much fun. 195 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:33,735 And bless our feet, our hands, our instruments, everything. 196 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,654 Our lights, Baz, Melissa, everyone. 197 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,490 - I love you guys. In Jesus's name. Amen. - Amen! 198 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,793 Ooh, the heat's a common ground 199 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:53,505 No matter what's your history 200 00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:56,049 Be free with me, oh 201 00:11:56,133 --> 00:12:00,470 And everybody wants to be touched Everybody wants to get some 202 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:03,056 But don't you play a song about love 203 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,225 When I move my body 204 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,352 I don't have to talk about none 205 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,521 Let the chemicals do its stuff 206 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:12,232 Till the energy is too much 207 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,358 Oh 208 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:17,946 Yeah, all I need 209 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:20,157 Is the rhythm, oh oh 210 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,867 Me and the rhythm 211 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:27,080 Oh oh, nothing between 212 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,291 Yeah, the rhythm, oh oh 213 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,960 Me and the rhythm, oh oh 214 00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:34,004 Who said, who said? 215 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,590 Would you tell me who said that? 216 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,051 Yeah, who said? 217 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:42,596 Who says? Who says you're not perfect? 218 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,098 Who says you're not worth it? 219 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:48,310 Who says You're the only one that's hurtin'? 220 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,772 Trust me, that's the price of beauty 221 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,608 Who says you're not pretty? 222 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,236 Who says you're not beautiful? 223 00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:59,321 Who says? 224 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,573 Fuck. 225 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,118 Hey, Selena! 226 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,454 We're by Big Ben. What's up? 227 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,834 Me and my girls, me and my girls 228 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:16,922 Me and my, me and my Me and my, me and my girls 229 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,721 There were rumors that she had a drug problem... 230 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,391 Selena parties too much. She's outta control. 231 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,643 Let's go! 232 00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,607 I am about to go onstage. 233 00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:36,733 Wish me luck. 234 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,738 You don't know how to love me When you're sober 235 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,409 When the bottle's done you pull me… 236 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:46,410 Selena, I love you. 237 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,537 Did Justin Bieber make you go to rehab? 238 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,205 Justin has a new girlfriend. 239 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:52,165 Are you jealous, Selena? 240 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,001 I'm so sick of that same old love 241 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,520 Selena. Did you go back to drinking? 242 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:58,172 - Selena. Where's the alcohol? - Did you start drinking again? 243 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,049 Sing it. 244 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,510 I'm so sick of that same old love 245 00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:05,554 That shit, it tears me up 246 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:09,850 - I was dying. - Yeah. 247 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,977 What am I missing? Like, what do I need? 248 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,812 Everyone was on their feet… 249 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:16,857 Guys, there's too many people. I'm so sorry. Too many people. 250 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,650 - Stop analyzing. - No. 251 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:20,360 - Be happy. - I am happy. 252 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:22,738 I hate it. 253 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,076 It's just hard being a fucking girl 254 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,369 and being crazy already. 255 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,053 That's another thing that pissed me off. 256 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,331 I'm doing the quick change, 257 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:35,167 then rip goes one sleeve, and then rip goes the other one, 258 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,544 and then all my entire bottom half ripped. 259 00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:41,006 Oh, that… 260 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,409 How are you feeling about Justin? 261 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,717 Are you depressed? 262 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,761 - Are you tired? - She's always tired. 263 00:14:55,562 --> 00:15:01,026 Sometimes I wake up, and I don't really feel like I have it in me. 264 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:14,498 Selena is now on break, 265 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,334 dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. 266 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,628 There were rumors that she had a drug problem. 267 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,964 Letting the high life of celebrity and partying 268 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,341 get the best of her and her career. 269 00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:29,179 At one point, she's like, "I don't wanna be alive right now. 270 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:30,764 I don't wanna live." 271 00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:33,934 And I'm like, "Wait. What?" 272 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,204 And it was one of those moments 273 00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:38,289 where you look in her eyes and there's nothing there. 274 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,817 It was just pitch black, and it's so scary. 275 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,694 You're like, "Okay, fuck this. 276 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,405 Like, this needs to end, like, we need to go home." 277 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:49,408 We had to have a serious conversation with her of, like, 278 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:50,909 "What is going on?" 279 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:55,205 Her answer was also like, "I don't know. I can't explain it. 280 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:59,042 I wish you could feel what it feels like to be in my head." 281 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:03,922 I just remember it being very chaotic and she was hearing all of these voices. 282 00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:07,342 They just kept getting louder and louder and louder. 283 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:10,637 That triggered some sort of psychotic break. 284 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:15,934 Selena Gomez has been in dire straits for a couple of weeks now. 285 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:20,272 Last year, she was battling lupus, and the kidney transplant saved her life. 286 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:21,356 As a result of that, 287 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:25,319 she had a very low white blood cell count in the last week of September. 288 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:29,323 Purely a medical situation, but it turned into an emotional breakdown. 289 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,825 She was trying to rip her IVs out. 290 00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:35,162 And it was so bad, they ended up taking her to a psychiatric hospital. 291 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:41,126 We heard about her mental breakdown through TMZ. 292 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:43,712 They called me and wanted to know 293 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:48,509 what my daughter was doing in the hospital with a nervous breakdown. 294 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:51,345 She didn't want anything to do with me, 295 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:56,225 and I was scared she was gonna die. 296 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,520 If anybody saw what I saw 297 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:02,064 and the state that she was in at the mental hospital, 298 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:05,526 they wouldn't have recognized her at all. 299 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,986 And I was devastated 300 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:12,406 because psychosis can last from days, to weeks, to months, 301 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,409 to years, to life. 302 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:21,791 You hang on as tight as you can and try to help them with their treatment, 303 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,545 and that's the hardest thing to do, 304 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:29,550 to then just go to bed and hope that they wake up the next day. 305 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,852 My thoughts take over my mind often. 306 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,730 It hurts when I think about my past. 307 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,778 I wanna know how to breathe again. 308 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,490 Do I love my own self? 309 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,453 How do I learn how to breathe my own breath? 310 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,960 It's a miracle she got out, 311 00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:09,798 but there's always that fear that that's gonna happen again, 312 00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:11,550 and it hurt us so much. 313 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:26,398 I found out I have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. 314 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:30,903 I'm gonna be honest, 315 00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:33,322 I didn't wanna go to a mental health hospital. 316 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:34,531 I didn't want to, 317 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:40,704 but I didn't want to be trapped in myself... In my mind anymore. 318 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:44,625 I thought my life was over. I was like, "This is how I'm gonna be forever." 319 00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:50,923 That's why I say to people that I have the greatest friends and family, 320 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,635 especially my mom and my stepdad, Brian. 321 00:18:55,302 --> 00:19:00,807 Because I shouldn't have spoken to them the way that I did, 322 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:04,478 and I shouldn't have treated them the way that I did sometimes. 323 00:19:05,229 --> 00:19:06,813 And then they know it wasn't me, 324 00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:09,274 so then when I wake up the next day, they're like... 325 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,654 They tell me what happened, but they're... They explain to me... 326 00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:17,157 They're like, "Look, we know that that's not you talking, 327 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:22,788 and we're really concerned, and... You know, just know that we love you. 328 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:28,168 We don't see anything different from what was... Last night to now." 329 00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,296 But if I talk about it to them, 330 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:33,799 then I just say it over and over again, you know? 331 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,300 I say, "I'm so sorry." 332 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,637 'Cause I remember certain things that I did 333 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,557 and I was really so mean. 334 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:46,186 And so, like... Even to this day, I keep saying "Thank you," and "I'm sorry," 335 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,604 and everything that I do... 336 00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:51,650 And they are always like, "Once we found out everything, 337 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,443 it made so much sense, Selena. 338 00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:56,321 Like, you're the best that you've ever been, 339 00:19:56,405 --> 00:20:02,995 and we're so happy that we can see that, and we never, ever would give up on you." 340 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:09,918 And they haven't when, in so many times, they probably should have. 341 00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:17,759 I'm in a better place, but… 342 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,346 I don't know. 343 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:24,057 I guess sometimes I can't explain it, for sure. 344 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,778 No. 345 00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:40,866 Totally lost. 346 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,370 When I first got out, 347 00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:48,040 I didn't know how I'd cope with my diagnosis. 348 00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:50,542 What if it happened again? 349 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,837 What if the next time I didn't come back? 350 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:57,007 I needed to keep learning about it. 351 00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,718 I needed to take it day-by-day. 352 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:04,681 When I was a kid, I was terrified of thunderstorms. 353 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:06,808 I grew up in Texas, 354 00:21:06,892 --> 00:21:10,604 and I was so scared that lightning and thunder would mean a tornado was coming. 355 00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:13,440 But my mom gave me these books for kids 356 00:21:13,524 --> 00:21:16,276 that explained storms and lightning and thunder, 357 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,737 and basically said, "The more you learn about it, 358 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:21,156 the less you're going to be afraid of it." 359 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,491 And it really helped. 360 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:26,954 I love you. 361 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,497 I love you. 362 00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:33,001 You know, my mom was always teaching me not to be scared of life. 363 00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:37,631 - She's such a powerful spirit. - Your nose? Did you hit the door? 364 00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:40,801 She was so young, still in school, 365 00:21:40,884 --> 00:21:43,345 and eventually tried every job you could possibly imagine. 366 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,429 Kiddo. 367 00:21:45,389 --> 00:21:48,225 She said, "This is what we're going through, but I'm not gonna stop. 368 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:52,145 I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna make my life better than this." 369 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:55,065 Oh, here's one. "Stay at home. $145 a day. 370 00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:57,526 Processing mail for local company in your area." 371 00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,487 Yeah. Hey, I could do that. 372 00:22:00,571 --> 00:22:01,655 You know, my mom... 373 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,866 She had me when she was still in high school. 374 00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:06,910 Daddy? 375 00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:09,371 My parents were separated when I was five. 376 00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:14,209 My grandparents, my Nana and papa, would look after me when my mom worked. 377 00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:15,973 …that song you were singing about grandpa? 378 00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:22,426 Hi, Daddy. 379 00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:25,721 I can't imagine the pressure for my dad. 380 00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:26,889 I see. 381 00:22:26,972 --> 00:22:28,557 He has a lot of regrets, 382 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,185 and he would be like, "I'm sorry, mi hija. I just... 383 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:33,520 I don't know how to talk to you." 384 00:22:34,188 --> 00:22:36,440 But he made me feel 385 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:41,445 like I was the, like, prettiest young girl. 386 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:47,159 Like I could do anything, and no one was worthy, and, like... 387 00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:51,747 So, I miss him a lot… 388 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:56,418 But he knows that, so… 389 00:22:57,628 --> 00:23:00,672 Take a picture of her, and you're gonna take a picture of us, okay? 390 00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:03,008 - Well, get over there. - Hold on, I'm coming. 391 00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,843 I'm gonna take a picture. 392 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,596 Friends forever. 393 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,223 Is that all y'all have got to say? 394 00:23:10,307 --> 00:23:11,642 Okay. 395 00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:13,810 Priscilla is my cousin, 396 00:23:14,436 --> 00:23:17,856 probably the closest person to me in the world, except for my mom. 397 00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:21,610 We did everything together. 398 00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:27,783 To this day, she's my life. She's my blood. 399 00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:31,203 Actually we never did. So, we never went back to those. 400 00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:33,185 - Where are we going? - Just don't... 401 00:23:33,247 --> 00:23:35,123 - Chicken Express, to get sweet tea. - Okay. 402 00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,042 If you like rolls, there's rolls. 403 00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:40,712 No, we're... I just wanted sweet tea. 404 00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:43,674 - Wait, we're gonna do three. - Three large sweet teas... 405 00:23:43,757 --> 00:23:45,884 - Extra ice in one of them. - Please, sir? 406 00:23:45,968 --> 00:23:46,968 No problem. 407 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:50,430 - You can't talk over me like that. - Well, you didn't say "please." 408 00:23:50,514 --> 00:23:52,015 I was getting there. 409 00:23:57,437 --> 00:23:59,356 Every time I've come home, 410 00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:04,194 I've always just gone to the places that I remember. 411 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:08,365 It's because I don't want to lose that part of me. 412 00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:11,159 Do you even go here? 413 00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,205 Beep! 414 00:24:16,415 --> 00:24:17,541 Hi... 415 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,436 I need to see your driver's license if you're coming in the building, please. 416 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,629 - A driver's license? - Yeah. 417 00:24:22,713 --> 00:24:24,631 - Okay. - Here. Grab one. 418 00:24:24,715 --> 00:24:26,592 For everybody that's out there. 419 00:24:27,718 --> 00:24:29,052 I don't have one. 420 00:24:29,136 --> 00:24:32,431 Okay, never mind. I used to go here when I was younger. 421 00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:36,852 My name is Selena, so I didn't mean to bother you, but thank you. 422 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,228 - You're welcome. - Bye. 423 00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:39,313 Okay, bye. 424 00:24:42,274 --> 00:24:43,275 She does. 425 00:24:43,817 --> 00:24:44,651 Do you… 426 00:24:44,735 --> 00:24:46,528 Who all has a driver's license? 427 00:24:46,612 --> 00:24:47,738 - Everybody. - We have one. 428 00:24:47,821 --> 00:24:49,621 - She used to go here... - I used to come here 429 00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:51,009 - and I wanted to see... - No worries. 430 00:24:51,033 --> 00:24:52,659 Are you a teacher here? 431 00:24:52,743 --> 00:24:54,369 - I'm the registrar. - Got it. 432 00:24:54,453 --> 00:24:56,288 Except... Yeah, I work in the office. 433 00:24:58,457 --> 00:24:59,458 Hi, guys. 434 00:25:01,043 --> 00:25:02,753 Everybody calm down. 435 00:25:02,836 --> 00:25:05,464 You're office aides? How old are you guys? 436 00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:06,673 Thirteen. 437 00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:09,384 That's so nice. Do you know I went to school here? 438 00:25:09,468 --> 00:25:10,969 - Yes. - You do? 439 00:25:11,053 --> 00:25:14,848 Okay. So I only had a crush on Dylan Alvarado. 440 00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:17,809 Sammy in elementary. 441 00:25:17,893 --> 00:25:20,187 Okay. Elementary was Sammy Rodriguez. 442 00:25:21,063 --> 00:25:27,069 - Then it was Dylan Alvarado, Keith Ma up in… - Keith. 443 00:25:28,529 --> 00:25:30,113 Eli was in there somewhere. 444 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:33,408 No, not necessarily. Really? 445 00:25:34,618 --> 00:25:36,328 - Yes. - Okay. 446 00:25:37,204 --> 00:25:39,122 And then Matthew from Danny Jones. 447 00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:41,166 That's it. 448 00:25:42,084 --> 00:25:43,961 Not one of them liked me back. 449 00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:49,675 - But again, like I said, they regret it. - Yeah, I was just saying. 450 00:25:51,677 --> 00:25:54,596 She was, I would say, like, an outcast, growing up, you know? 451 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,724 Like, in school, she didn't really talk to many people. 452 00:25:57,808 --> 00:26:00,269 She had, like, her... You know, little two or three friends, 453 00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:03,146 but not a lot of boyfriends, if you know what I mean. 454 00:26:03,814 --> 00:26:06,066 And so I would go in there to get my food, 455 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:10,445 and I would sit, like, right here, at a long table. 456 00:26:11,864 --> 00:26:13,949 - But it was usually by myself. - No... 457 00:26:15,117 --> 00:26:18,537 - Hi. My name is Selena. - I saw you earlier. 458 00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:20,330 Whatever you think you can't do, 459 00:26:20,414 --> 00:26:24,710 just know that there's no one that's gonna tell you no but yourself. 460 00:26:24,793 --> 00:26:27,004 You have to continue to do what you wanna do. 461 00:26:27,588 --> 00:26:29,506 - Now that is inspirational. - So... I'm... 462 00:26:29,590 --> 00:26:30,799 - Yeah? - Great. 463 00:26:30,883 --> 00:26:34,469 So, kick ass, or... Oh, I'm sorry. 464 00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:37,347 You gotta stay after school. 465 00:26:37,431 --> 00:26:40,601 Hello, students at Danny Jones Middle School. 466 00:26:40,684 --> 00:26:42,936 This is Selena Gomez talking to you. 467 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:46,106 Thank you for letting me disrupt your classes. 468 00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:49,776 And just a reminder, your teachers aren't that bad. 469 00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:52,863 You just gotta do the hard work. 470 00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:55,532 You have to hug him. He's gonna cry. 471 00:26:55,616 --> 00:26:57,868 - Can I have an autograph? - He's such a big fan. 472 00:26:57,951 --> 00:26:59,494 Oh, my God! 473 00:26:59,578 --> 00:27:00,579 You're welcome. 474 00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:02,748 - Can I have a hug, too? - Can I have a hug? 475 00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:10,797 - This is where… - I really don't know. 476 00:27:11,381 --> 00:27:12,382 …I grew up. 477 00:27:19,598 --> 00:27:21,225 That's my house. 478 00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:22,726 - It is? - Yeah. 479 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,647 I bet your hand prints are still there. 480 00:27:27,147 --> 00:27:28,690 This spot right here... 481 00:27:28,774 --> 00:27:31,693 Poor neighbors, 'cause some guy would do drug deals, like, right there, 482 00:27:31,777 --> 00:27:34,905 and we would watch through those windows 'cause we weren't allowed outside. 483 00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:36,615 - I felt bad for those neighbors… - Yeah. 484 00:27:36,698 --> 00:27:38,551 …'cause he would pull up his car, it was an old car, 485 00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:39,952 there was a trunk, and… 486 00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:42,663 This was the same door. 487 00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:44,915 Hi. 488 00:27:49,545 --> 00:27:51,630 - Hi. - Hi, my name is Selena. 489 00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:52,965 - How are you? - How are you? 490 00:27:53,048 --> 00:27:54,842 - Good. Come on in. - Do you mind? 491 00:27:54,925 --> 00:27:55,968 - No. Please. - Okay. 492 00:27:56,468 --> 00:27:58,303 Oh, my gosh. 493 00:27:58,387 --> 00:28:00,347 Okay, this is where I used to 494 00:28:00,931 --> 00:28:05,394 - descale fish, right here. - Descale fish. 495 00:28:05,477 --> 00:28:06,770 Yes. 496 00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:10,065 Selena, what's he doing? 497 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:12,192 He's just cutting his blood out. 498 00:28:13,110 --> 00:28:16,363 - So this is my bedroom. - It's kinda messy, though. 499 00:28:16,446 --> 00:28:20,993 Do you mind if I see if I still have my drawings from this closet? 500 00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,079 They took it out. 501 00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:26,039 - It's gone? - Yeah. 502 00:28:27,207 --> 00:28:30,752 I used to have, like... I had a crush on Cole and Dylan Sprouse, 503 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:33,630 so I'd come in my closet, and I would write things down. 504 00:28:33,714 --> 00:28:34,548 - No. - Thank you. 505 00:28:34,631 --> 00:28:36,925 - There's writing on this one. - Really? 506 00:28:37,009 --> 00:28:38,611 I guess you were really in love with Cole. 507 00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:41,680 Oh, my gosh! Stop this. 508 00:28:42,431 --> 00:28:45,058 I mean... I'm sorry, Cole, if you ever see this. 509 00:28:45,559 --> 00:28:46,643 I would, like, straddle… 510 00:28:46,727 --> 00:28:48,145 - Christian a? - Yeah? 511 00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:50,522 This right here... My Nana can show you the photo. 512 00:28:50,606 --> 00:28:53,066 She's taking a photo. I'm looking at myself in the mirror. 513 00:28:53,150 --> 00:28:55,152 And that's when I found out I booked Barney. 514 00:28:55,235 --> 00:28:57,196 - Oh, my God. - You were on the phone. 515 00:28:57,279 --> 00:28:58,906 And there's a picture of me in here. 516 00:29:01,575 --> 00:29:03,493 Everything looks wonderful, Barney. 517 00:29:03,577 --> 00:29:04,953 She'll be coming round… 518 00:29:05,037 --> 00:29:07,664 I was seven years old when I got my first job. 519 00:29:08,832 --> 00:29:12,920 I was proud because I got to go escape my life and be in Barney Land, 520 00:29:13,003 --> 00:29:14,546 and just play and sing. 521 00:29:16,173 --> 00:29:19,551 I don't know, I just fell in love with these escape things. 522 00:29:21,386 --> 00:29:24,348 Then I never stopped. I just kept going. 523 00:29:25,098 --> 00:29:28,060 And then when I hit around 11 and I moved to Los Angeles, 524 00:29:28,143 --> 00:29:32,356 I just wanted to work. I loved my job. 525 00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:35,901 But eventually, after doing this for so long, 526 00:29:35,984 --> 00:29:39,029 I started to feel vain. 527 00:29:40,405 --> 00:29:43,033 It made me feel lonely somehow. 528 00:29:43,534 --> 00:29:46,411 And then when I started touring, it just got worse. 529 00:29:50,415 --> 00:29:52,626 After I got out of the last treatment center, 530 00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:54,878 I knew what made me happy was connection. 531 00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:00,676 This is Joyce. 532 00:30:02,219 --> 00:30:04,346 Priscilla, are we sure? 533 00:30:04,429 --> 00:30:06,390 Yeah. You want me to ask my grandma? 534 00:30:09,726 --> 00:30:13,522 She had this beautiful doll house that I wanted so bad. 535 00:30:14,022 --> 00:30:15,774 Is that why you put poop on her front porch? 536 00:30:15,858 --> 00:30:17,609 Stop. That was Charlie. 537 00:30:18,819 --> 00:30:20,362 They would always pick on her. 538 00:30:29,371 --> 00:30:30,372 Hi. 539 00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:34,751 - Hi, I'm Selena. - Yes? 540 00:30:34,835 --> 00:30:37,754 I used to come here when Joyce lived here. 541 00:30:37,838 --> 00:30:39,673 - Selena Gomez? - Yeah. 542 00:30:39,756 --> 00:30:40,757 Yeah. 543 00:30:41,425 --> 00:30:42,593 Yeah. 544 00:30:43,719 --> 00:30:44,761 Is she here? 545 00:30:44,845 --> 00:30:47,806 Yeah. She's... Why don't you come on in? 546 00:30:47,890 --> 00:30:49,266 - Are you sure? - Yes. 547 00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:50,684 Okay. 548 00:30:50,767 --> 00:30:52,019 Do y'all still have that… 549 00:30:52,644 --> 00:30:54,938 - The doll house? - Don't let anyone else in. 550 00:30:56,857 --> 00:30:57,774 How are you? 551 00:30:57,858 --> 00:31:02,237 - Oh, my gosh. Hi. Don't move. - Thank you. 552 00:31:02,321 --> 00:31:04,281 - I got to move. - There's the doll house, Selena. 553 00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:07,951 Hi... Is that the... That's the dollhouse! Don't get up. 554 00:31:08,035 --> 00:31:09,453 I can't get up, baby. 555 00:31:09,953 --> 00:31:12,122 - It's okay. - How do you like my bald head? 556 00:31:12,206 --> 00:31:13,540 Yeah, well, you look great. 557 00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:17,753 Got past that, but, see, I broke my ankle twice this year. 558 00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:20,631 - I can't get up. - Yeah, what's been going on? 559 00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,257 Well, not much. 560 00:31:26,303 --> 00:31:27,346 I'm sorry. 561 00:31:27,971 --> 00:31:29,097 I broke a toe. 562 00:31:29,765 --> 00:31:31,725 So how's your health now? 563 00:31:31,808 --> 00:31:35,604 My health is goo... Is doing good. My lupus is in remission. 564 00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:38,232 - Good. - And I'm very happy about that. 565 00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:40,609 I got a kidney transplant two years ago, 566 00:31:41,109 --> 00:31:43,529 and so far everything's going good with that. 567 00:31:43,612 --> 00:31:44,655 - Well, good. - Yeah, 568 00:31:44,738 --> 00:31:48,158 - I just take my medication every day. - You know, lupus is cousin to MS. 569 00:31:48,242 --> 00:31:50,494 Really? I did not know that. 570 00:31:50,577 --> 00:31:54,623 A lot of the symptoms are alike. It's an autoimmune disease. 571 00:31:55,541 --> 00:31:57,251 - Yeah? - What do you remember about me? 572 00:31:57,876 --> 00:32:01,755 I remember when we'd come over here, 573 00:32:01,839 --> 00:32:03,608 and me and Charlie would give you a hard time. 574 00:32:03,632 --> 00:32:07,094 Okay. Here's the self-testimony here. 575 00:32:07,177 --> 00:32:08,762 Yes, it is. And I apologize f... 576 00:32:08,846 --> 00:32:10,406 You don't remember anything else about it? 577 00:32:10,430 --> 00:32:12,349 No, I do. You would let us come in, 578 00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:14,935 we'd have cookies, and I get to go right there, and... 579 00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:17,062 That's what I was waiting for you to say my cookies. 580 00:32:17,145 --> 00:32:19,815 - I remember. We'd play with that. - Cookie lady. 581 00:32:19,898 --> 00:32:21,942 - I think it was over here last time. - It was. 582 00:32:22,025 --> 00:32:23,026 That's right. 583 00:32:29,366 --> 00:32:32,911 Oh, my gosh. I was obsessed with this, Joyce. 584 00:32:40,502 --> 00:32:43,213 - Well, it was good to see you. - I'm just so thrilled that you... 585 00:32:43,297 --> 00:32:45,841 I once asked Debbie if you'd come and see me sometime. 586 00:32:46,842 --> 00:32:48,969 - And I'm glad I did. - You did. 587 00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:52,222 - I didn't have to ask. - Nope. 588 00:32:53,307 --> 00:32:54,308 You're sick too. 589 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:56,685 Oh, it's okay. We all get through. 590 00:32:56,768 --> 00:32:58,979 - Thank you so much. - I hope you have a great day. 591 00:32:59,062 --> 00:33:00,939 - I'll be praying for you. - Okay, thank you. 592 00:33:01,023 --> 00:33:01,857 Bye, Joyce. 593 00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:04,443 - Bye, Selena. - Bye. Thank you so much. 594 00:33:04,526 --> 00:33:06,737 - Thank you. - It was good to see you. 595 00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:08,113 Thank you, guys. 596 00:33:10,282 --> 00:33:11,700 I will. 597 00:33:18,123 --> 00:33:21,251 When I got my lupus, it was really scary. 598 00:33:21,335 --> 00:33:22,920 Then I got out of it and I said, 599 00:33:23,003 --> 00:33:26,757 "I can go and visit these people, because I've had this." 600 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:27,840 Hi, baby. 601 00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:30,969 And then I had the transplant, and we did a lot of work. 602 00:33:31,053 --> 00:33:33,430 And then when it started into mental health, 603 00:33:33,514 --> 00:33:37,976 and the same thing I said to myself is, "Now I can relate to these people." 604 00:33:38,477 --> 00:33:41,230 - I think things happen for a reason. - All right. Bye, guys. 605 00:33:46,318 --> 00:33:48,362 Just be who you are, Selena. 606 00:33:50,781 --> 00:33:51,990 Just stop trying. 607 00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:55,536 No one cares about what you're doing. 608 00:33:56,828 --> 00:34:02,000 It's about who I am. Being okay with where I am. 609 00:34:04,795 --> 00:34:07,214 I am grateful for my family. 610 00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:09,299 I am grateful for my friends. 611 00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:12,052 I am grateful to be alive. 612 00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:24,523 I'm just gonna add three more paragraphs that I wrote. 613 00:34:24,606 --> 00:34:26,775 "I think we are better when we tell the truth, 614 00:34:26,859 --> 00:34:29,235 - "so again, and I'm telling my truth." - Yeah. 615 00:34:29,319 --> 00:34:31,321 "I was suffering mentally and emotionally, 616 00:34:31,405 --> 00:34:34,324 and I wasn't able to stay all buttoned up and together. 617 00:34:34,408 --> 00:34:38,661 I felt as though all of my pain, anxiety, fear washed over me all at once, 618 00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:41,248 and it was one of the scariest moments of my life. 619 00:34:41,331 --> 00:34:46,003 "It was the day that... That I found out I was bipolar." 620 00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:49,505 No one thinks that you need to say you're bipolar. 621 00:34:49,590 --> 00:34:50,966 You're 27 years old 622 00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:54,052 and you have a lifetime to tell the world that exact thing, 623 00:34:54,136 --> 00:34:57,931 unless you are determined that now's the time that you want it out. 624 00:34:58,015 --> 00:35:00,017 - Okay. - No one's against it. 625 00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:04,438 It's just that that becomes the narrative, right there. 626 00:35:04,521 --> 00:35:06,481 And I'm sure that means, like... What? 627 00:35:06,565 --> 00:35:10,694 Like, certain people or directors or something may not wanna work with me? 628 00:35:10,777 --> 00:35:13,113 But then why would I wanna work with them anyway? 629 00:35:13,197 --> 00:35:16,116 - True. Whatever you think. - I think I'm gonna say it. 630 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,785 - Yeah. - I'm gonna say it. It's fine. 631 00:35:19,494 --> 00:35:21,413 - And that's it. - It'll say... Yeah. 632 00:35:22,289 --> 00:35:24,374 Selena Gomez talking candidly 633 00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:27,377 - about her struggle... - …the star shining a light 634 00:35:27,461 --> 00:35:30,047 on her personal battle with depression and anxiety, 635 00:35:30,130 --> 00:35:31,715 and the journey that she says left her… 636 00:35:32,674 --> 00:35:33,509 Do I have 20 minutes? 637 00:35:33,592 --> 00:35:36,053 - Are you feeling nerves? - I don't feel good. 638 00:35:36,136 --> 00:35:37,387 Is it nerves? 639 00:35:38,555 --> 00:35:40,849 I don't feel good, you guys, like, at all. 640 00:35:41,475 --> 00:35:43,393 - Is she hungry? - Very uncomfortable. 641 00:35:43,477 --> 00:35:45,020 - What? - What happened? 642 00:35:45,812 --> 00:35:46,897 Or nerves. 643 00:35:48,065 --> 00:35:49,066 Makes sense. 644 00:35:54,905 --> 00:35:56,073 What did it do? 645 00:35:56,573 --> 00:35:58,325 - It makes you feel sick. - It burns. 646 00:35:58,408 --> 00:35:59,409 Yeah. 647 00:36:04,414 --> 00:36:05,582 Hi, Raquelle. 648 00:36:06,291 --> 00:36:07,459 Hello, Selena. 649 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,421 Raquelle, this is so cute. This is a whole one-piece outfit, or two? 650 00:36:11,505 --> 00:36:13,048 No. It's so crazy… 651 00:36:14,550 --> 00:36:16,593 It is with great pleasure that I welcome you 652 00:36:16,677 --> 00:36:19,513 to the McLean Psychiatric Hospital annual dinner. 653 00:36:22,349 --> 00:36:25,269 Hi, guys. I'm very happy to be here, 654 00:36:25,352 --> 00:36:27,771 and I might be a little awkward, so I'm sorry. 655 00:36:29,523 --> 00:36:33,986 Yeah. I started when... I started working when I was seven, 656 00:36:34,611 --> 00:36:37,197 and I quickly learned how to play the part. 657 00:36:37,990 --> 00:36:40,284 I have juggled work and school and relationships 658 00:36:40,367 --> 00:36:42,536 for as long as I can remember. 659 00:36:42,619 --> 00:36:46,832 As great as life was, underneath all of it, I was struggling. 660 00:36:47,499 --> 00:36:53,422 Last year, I was suffering mentally and emotionally, 661 00:36:53,505 --> 00:36:56,550 and I wasn't able to stay all buttoned-up and together. 662 00:36:57,217 --> 00:36:58,552 I sought support, 663 00:36:58,635 --> 00:37:02,222 and the doctors were able to give me a clear diagnosis. 664 00:37:03,098 --> 00:37:05,017 The moment that I received that information, 665 00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:10,772 I finally had the knowledge of why I had suffered for so many years 666 00:37:10,856 --> 00:37:12,482 with depression and anxiety. 667 00:37:13,066 --> 00:37:16,069 So I began to face it head-on, 668 00:37:16,153 --> 00:37:21,491 as my mother had taught me to face my fears and challenges when I was younger. 669 00:37:22,201 --> 00:37:24,870 I am happier, I am healthier, 670 00:37:24,953 --> 00:37:28,999 and I am in control of my emotions and thoughts more than I have ever been. 671 00:37:29,082 --> 00:37:32,586 So, I'm very happy about that. Thanks. 672 00:37:36,965 --> 00:37:41,303 It actually feels good to say it, because I mean it, you know? 673 00:37:41,386 --> 00:37:45,599 Like, for so many years, I feel, like, maybe I needed to say that, 674 00:37:45,682 --> 00:37:49,061 but it feels really great to be able to actually mean it this time. 675 00:37:50,020 --> 00:37:54,149 I also struggle with my own thoughts and feelings at times, 676 00:37:54,233 --> 00:37:56,610 but this doesn't make me faulty. 677 00:37:57,319 --> 00:37:59,071 This does not make me weak. 678 00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:01,740 This does not make me less than. 679 00:38:02,491 --> 00:38:03,825 This makes me human. 680 00:38:04,576 --> 00:38:07,246 That was my life and the fact that you brought light to it... 681 00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:11,083 If it wasn't for someone that was able to put the word out there, 682 00:38:11,166 --> 00:38:12,417 it wouldn't make change happen. 683 00:38:12,501 --> 00:38:14,670 From the bottom of my heart, your courage is amazing, 684 00:38:14,753 --> 00:38:17,840 and I think that you are saving lives. I know that you're saving lives, 685 00:38:17,923 --> 00:38:20,923 - so thank you for the work that you do. - Wow, I just hope I'm a part of... 686 00:38:21,593 --> 00:38:24,096 I just hope I'm a part of the conversation, you know? 687 00:38:24,179 --> 00:38:25,859 Absolutely, thank you. It's such an honor. 688 00:38:25,931 --> 00:38:31,061 You guys are the ones that save the lives, but as much as I can use what I do, 689 00:38:31,144 --> 00:38:33,897 - I'm more than happy to be here. - Thank you. 690 00:38:33,981 --> 00:38:39,152 Even just for you to, like, speak publicly about your experience with mental health, 691 00:38:39,236 --> 00:38:40,863 - depression, and anxiety... - Yeah. 692 00:38:40,946 --> 00:38:46,451 Me, myself, I attempted almost three years ago in October, 693 00:38:46,535 --> 00:38:51,665 and I remember just... Oh, thank you. 694 00:39:00,507 --> 00:39:02,926 Being honest that night helped. 695 00:39:04,261 --> 00:39:07,472 I texted Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter 696 00:39:07,556 --> 00:39:10,434 and said, "I think I'm ready to just say I'm sad." 697 00:39:11,351 --> 00:39:15,981 We wrote the song in 45 minutes. The fastest song I've ever written. 698 00:39:17,608 --> 00:39:23,822 It's about more than just a lost love. It's me learning to choose myself. 699 00:39:25,032 --> 00:39:26,200 To choose life. 700 00:39:29,870 --> 00:39:33,123 But also hoping that people can find grace and peace in that too. 701 00:39:35,876 --> 00:39:38,837 You promised the world And I fell for it 702 00:39:40,672 --> 00:39:42,883 I put you first and you adored it 703 00:39:42,966 --> 00:39:45,844 - Daddy. - Set fires to my forest 704 00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:50,349 And you let it burn Sang off-key in my chorus 705 00:39:50,891 --> 00:39:52,684 'Cause it wasn't yours 706 00:39:54,937 --> 00:39:56,772 I saw the signs and I ignored it 707 00:39:56,855 --> 00:39:58,565 The song is about knowing 708 00:39:58,649 --> 00:40:01,527 that you completely lost every part of who you are. 709 00:40:01,610 --> 00:40:04,821 Set fire to my purpose 710 00:40:04,905 --> 00:40:06,990 Just to rediscover yourself again. 711 00:40:07,074 --> 00:40:12,621 You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah 712 00:40:13,789 --> 00:40:15,374 Are you still in love with Justin? 713 00:40:15,457 --> 00:40:16,708 Everything was so public. 714 00:40:16,792 --> 00:40:19,127 Selena, any comment on Bieber's engagement? 715 00:40:19,211 --> 00:40:21,004 What's your favorite thing about Bieber? 716 00:40:21,088 --> 00:40:23,924 Can I go to the... Get food, please? Can you not... Wanna go get food. 717 00:40:24,007 --> 00:40:28,095 I felt haunted by a past relationship that no one wanted to let go of. 718 00:40:29,471 --> 00:40:32,349 But then I just moved past it. 719 00:40:33,809 --> 00:40:35,227 And I wasn't afraid anymore. 720 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,939 - Thank you, everybody. Bye, guys! - All right guys. So… 721 00:40:39,022 --> 00:40:40,732 - That is a camera wrap. - Thank you. 722 00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:47,114 It says, "Selena Gomez is now projected" 723 00:40:47,197 --> 00:40:50,868 to debut inside the top 20 of Billboard Hot 100. 724 00:40:50,951 --> 00:40:53,996 This will make her and Adele the only females in history 725 00:40:54,079 --> 00:40:56,582 - "to have the biggest ballad debut." - Yes. 726 00:40:56,665 --> 00:40:58,083 - Yeah. - I wanna cry. 727 00:41:09,303 --> 00:41:11,489 - Was it one of your biggest songs ever? - Yeah, it was. 728 00:41:11,513 --> 00:41:13,182 It is your biggest song ever, right? 729 00:41:14,808 --> 00:41:16,727 I wanted to be as honest as I could, 730 00:41:16,810 --> 00:41:20,272 and I think that I'm very lucky to be in a position 731 00:41:20,355 --> 00:41:21,899 where I can make people feel good. 732 00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:28,822 I feel like I had to go through the worst possible heartbreak ever, 733 00:41:28,906 --> 00:41:32,367 and then just forgetting everything at the drop of the hand. 734 00:41:32,451 --> 00:41:37,164 It was really confusing, but I just think that needed to happen. 735 00:41:37,247 --> 00:41:40,292 And ultimately it was the best thing that ever happened to me. 736 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:41,960 And ultimately, so, your message is... 737 00:41:42,044 --> 00:41:44,314 You didn't hear me say it was the best thing that happened to me. 738 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:45,839 - Sorry. - You just started talking. 739 00:41:45,923 --> 00:41:47,883 - I can't say it anymore. - One more time. 740 00:41:47,966 --> 00:41:49,259 No. 741 00:41:49,343 --> 00:41:50,783 All right. What do you wanna ask me? 742 00:41:51,386 --> 00:41:54,973 I just... Was it the best thing that ever happened to you? 743 00:41:59,436 --> 00:42:02,314 It was the best thing that ever happened to me, yes. 744 00:42:02,940 --> 00:42:05,734 So, when do you want an album out? 745 00:42:05,817 --> 00:42:07,277 - January. - Okay, cool. 746 00:42:07,361 --> 00:42:09,279 I just need to know if you have to leave, 747 00:42:09,363 --> 00:42:12,366 - or issues, or it... - I have to go to Kenya and London. 748 00:42:12,449 --> 00:42:13,742 Okay. 749 00:42:14,660 --> 00:42:16,453 It's gonna be a fun six weeks. 750 00:42:17,037 --> 00:42:19,957 Do you want to perform at the AMAs this year? 751 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:21,041 Yeah. 752 00:42:21,124 --> 00:42:22,960 And okay. 753 00:42:23,043 --> 00:42:24,628 - So if we do want to do that… - I do. 754 00:42:24,711 --> 00:42:26,755 - …we'll get into that right now. - Perfect. 755 00:42:26,839 --> 00:42:29,007 - Okay. - My stomach. 756 00:42:29,091 --> 00:42:31,426 - Are you hungry? - No. 757 00:42:32,010 --> 00:42:34,179 - You all right? - Yeah, I think it's nerves. 758 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,431 It's also chilly. Do you want a sweater? 759 00:42:36,515 --> 00:42:37,867 - I'm hot as hell. - You are? Okay. 760 00:42:37,891 --> 00:42:39,452 - Well, then you're in the right room. - Yeah. 761 00:42:39,476 --> 00:42:41,162 - It feels like the Amazon. - It's like an igloo. 762 00:42:41,186 --> 00:42:42,312 It is an igloo in here. 763 00:42:42,396 --> 00:42:44,606 - Y'all are gonna kill me, but… - So, let's start over. 764 00:42:44,690 --> 00:42:46,417 - Y'all are gonna kill me, but I gotta go. - Okay. 765 00:42:46,441 --> 00:42:48,819 - I just feel... Yeah. - You all right? Sorry. 766 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,531 I think it's the stress of this meeting. 767 00:42:52,614 --> 00:42:53,615 I think so. 768 00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,075 - Me too. - Okay. 769 00:42:55,158 --> 00:42:56,243 Yeah. 770 00:43:03,250 --> 00:43:05,711 I hadn't been onstage in over two years, 771 00:43:06,378 --> 00:43:08,172 and I still didn't know if I was ready. 772 00:43:10,132 --> 00:43:13,177 But what good is having a song if I was too scared to sing it? 773 00:43:14,803 --> 00:43:17,472 After the AMAs, I was going straight to Kenya. 774 00:43:18,682 --> 00:43:22,436 For years, my doctors hadn't let me go because of my kidney transplant, 775 00:43:23,103 --> 00:43:24,271 but I was finally ready. 776 00:43:25,230 --> 00:43:28,609 So, Raquelle and I were going to visit students at a primary school, 777 00:43:28,692 --> 00:43:30,402 and a college for young women. 778 00:43:30,485 --> 00:43:34,448 Both schools that I helped raise the money to build in Kenya for the WE Charity. 779 00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:36,366 I knew it would be a lot, 780 00:43:36,450 --> 00:43:39,620 but it was my only chance to go before my album came out. 781 00:43:41,038 --> 00:43:42,539 - That's it. - Is it done? 782 00:43:42,623 --> 00:43:44,041 That's it, yeah. Well done. 783 00:43:44,124 --> 00:43:47,753 - Okay. - Take a deep breath in, and out. 784 00:43:50,506 --> 00:43:51,507 Hi, babe! 785 00:43:52,174 --> 00:43:54,009 - Did you do it? - Yeah. 786 00:43:54,843 --> 00:43:56,762 - Good job. - I'm just laying down. 787 00:43:56,845 --> 00:43:58,514 Are you in pain? 788 00:43:58,597 --> 00:44:00,474 Yeah, my arm feels weak. 789 00:44:01,558 --> 00:44:03,101 Oh, Mylanta. 790 00:44:04,186 --> 00:44:07,564 - Now you know what I went through. - I know. You went through more than me. 791 00:44:07,648 --> 00:44:09,328 I was gonna say, "Actually, no, you don't." 792 00:44:10,275 --> 00:44:12,236 - I'm proud of you, though. - Thank you. 793 00:44:14,863 --> 00:44:18,242 Selena Gomez's highly anticipated comeback on the AMA stage. 794 00:44:18,325 --> 00:44:19,910 This is her first performance 795 00:44:19,993 --> 00:44:21,787 in over two years, 796 00:44:21,870 --> 00:44:24,915 post all the Bieber drama and a short break from the biz. 797 00:44:26,375 --> 00:44:29,169 I saw the signs and I ignored it 798 00:44:31,004 --> 00:44:33,590 Rose-colored glasses all distorted 799 00:44:33,674 --> 00:44:35,133 Set fire to my... 800 00:44:39,054 --> 00:44:41,765 The pitch is the nerves. 801 00:44:41,849 --> 00:44:45,018 So if you just let the muscle memory happen, 802 00:44:45,102 --> 00:44:48,689 you get out of your way, it's gonna just float up. 803 00:44:50,649 --> 00:44:52,401 I need you to trust yourself. 804 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,612 Sel, we're gonna sing something else right now. 805 00:44:55,696 --> 00:44:57,239 - This one we need to sing. - Okay. 806 00:44:57,322 --> 00:44:58,407 Hit it. 807 00:44:59,908 --> 00:45:01,910 - Crank it! - This isn't my song. 808 00:45:06,790 --> 00:45:08,917 I don't even remember all of this one. 809 00:45:09,001 --> 00:45:10,919 Who cares? Just sing what you know. 810 00:45:11,628 --> 00:45:15,257 I keep fighting voices in my mind 811 00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:19,219 That say I'm not enough 812 00:45:19,803 --> 00:45:20,804 Come on! 813 00:45:24,725 --> 00:45:27,644 Every single lie that tells me 814 00:45:27,728 --> 00:45:33,692 I will never measure up 815 00:45:48,957 --> 00:45:50,334 Jesus help me. 816 00:45:54,171 --> 00:45:57,132 You promised the world And I fell for it 817 00:45:59,092 --> 00:46:01,637 I put you first and you adored it 818 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:04,598 Set fire to my forest 819 00:46:04,681 --> 00:46:08,977 And I let it burn Sang off-key in my chorus 820 00:46:09,061 --> 00:46:10,646 'Cause it wasn't yours 821 00:46:11,230 --> 00:46:13,524 Selena Gomez suffered a panic attack before… 822 00:46:13,607 --> 00:46:15,275 Many accused her of being off-key… 823 00:46:15,359 --> 00:46:16,818 Gomez, who didn't learn how to sing 824 00:46:16,902 --> 00:46:18,755 after her 10-year-old career, and gets millions for it. 825 00:46:18,779 --> 00:46:21,073 …In four years. But anxiety, it doesn't just disappear. 826 00:46:21,156 --> 00:46:24,493 In fact, she says that her lupus amplifies her anxiety. 827 00:46:25,786 --> 00:46:28,288 Hi. She's up. 828 00:46:28,372 --> 00:46:30,123 - Hi. - Hi. 829 00:46:32,334 --> 00:46:33,460 How's it going? 830 00:46:34,211 --> 00:46:35,671 Hey, Sir Winnie. 831 00:46:38,632 --> 00:46:41,844 I got you some soup and that… thing, 832 00:46:41,927 --> 00:46:43,011 and a ham and cheese. 833 00:46:43,095 --> 00:46:48,308 Aleen asked me, when you do London promo, after Kenya, 834 00:46:48,392 --> 00:46:49,893 you're there for, like, three days. 835 00:46:49,977 --> 00:46:55,440 And she asked if you can do... If you wanna do Paris for a day and then home. 836 00:46:55,524 --> 00:46:57,776 - Are you coming with me, Raquelle? - Yeah. 837 00:46:58,485 --> 00:46:59,486 Okay. 838 00:46:59,570 --> 00:47:02,155 Yeah? You don't think that's too much? 839 00:47:02,990 --> 00:47:05,367 No, but I also don't wanna rush it. 840 00:47:06,076 --> 00:47:07,786 I haven't done promo in years. 841 00:47:09,663 --> 00:47:11,915 It's my least favorite thing in the world to do. 842 00:47:12,457 --> 00:47:14,626 But I feel like it's gonna be great, 843 00:47:14,710 --> 00:47:17,796 because you're excited about what you're putting out 844 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,715 and it's so true to you. 845 00:47:20,674 --> 00:47:22,759 I don't wanna talk about work anymore. 846 00:47:22,843 --> 00:47:24,595 - Okay. - Let's put on a movie. 847 00:47:28,098 --> 00:47:29,266 I need a break. 848 00:47:30,267 --> 00:47:31,268 From everything? 849 00:47:32,603 --> 00:47:34,188 No. I have a lot of work to do. 850 00:47:35,981 --> 00:47:39,776 Hunter, do you wanna maybe walk and go in first in... 851 00:47:40,736 --> 00:47:44,656 I know you don't pay attention to your calendar, but you're going to Africa. 852 00:47:44,740 --> 00:47:46,909 Yeah, 'cause I'm going to Kenya first, 853 00:47:46,992 --> 00:47:49,870 and then I'm gonna go straight to London, and Paris for promo. 854 00:47:49,953 --> 00:47:53,332 Okay. You feel okay about trying to get everything done 855 00:47:53,415 --> 00:47:54,791 - for the next month? - Yeah. 856 00:47:55,501 --> 00:47:56,502 Not worried. 857 00:47:56,585 --> 00:47:59,379 Then it's just the video, the campaign, the song. 858 00:48:05,135 --> 00:48:07,721 - No computers in your... - No. Do we take our shoes off? 859 00:48:07,804 --> 00:48:09,264 - Yes. - Yeah. 860 00:48:11,517 --> 00:48:13,060 Let's go. 861 00:48:25,489 --> 00:48:26,365 Thank you. 862 00:48:26,448 --> 00:48:27,448 Welcome. 863 00:48:47,344 --> 00:48:49,388 - We also say it's a blessing. - What? 864 00:48:49,471 --> 00:48:51,473 When it rains, we say it's a blessing. 865 00:48:51,557 --> 00:48:52,766 - It's a blessing? - Yeah. 866 00:48:52,850 --> 00:48:55,143 When it rains here, it's considered a blessing. 867 00:48:55,227 --> 00:48:56,436 Oh, I love that. 868 00:49:00,357 --> 00:49:03,861 Take this. We can put this on now. Are you okay with the camera? 869 00:49:03,944 --> 00:49:05,696 - It's okay. - It's fine... It's okay? 870 00:49:09,241 --> 00:49:11,201 - Hello, everyone. - Hello. 871 00:49:11,285 --> 00:49:12,786 - Hi, what's your name? - Aneesia. 872 00:49:12,870 --> 00:49:15,122 - Aneesia? I'm Selena, nice to meet you. - Yeah. 873 00:49:16,081 --> 00:49:21,044 Hello. My name is Selena. I have come here with WE, 874 00:49:21,128 --> 00:49:26,842 and I want to honor your drive for education. 875 00:49:26,925 --> 00:49:29,678 So, I'm very happy to be here. 876 00:49:31,221 --> 00:49:35,309 So, which grade did you reach, actually? Did you finish grade 12? 877 00:49:35,392 --> 00:49:38,145 I finished eighth grade, 878 00:49:38,228 --> 00:49:43,066 and then for nine, ten, 11, 12, I had to do school on set. 879 00:49:43,609 --> 00:49:46,403 To... Like, five hours and then I could work, so… 880 00:49:46,486 --> 00:49:47,571 Wow. 881 00:49:47,654 --> 00:49:49,615 Well, it was... It was interesting, you know? 882 00:49:49,698 --> 00:49:53,410 To be homeschooled by a computer. It's not real… 883 00:49:53,493 --> 00:49:54,328 Wow. 884 00:49:54,411 --> 00:49:57,581 …but it was great for me. It worked, you know? 885 00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:02,252 Late last year, we had a talent group, 886 00:50:02,336 --> 00:50:04,546 and we were singing, like, your song. Like… 887 00:50:04,630 --> 00:50:06,673 Who says you're not perfect 888 00:50:06,757 --> 00:50:08,509 That's my song! 889 00:50:08,592 --> 00:50:11,178 - That's one of my favorite songs. - Who says, who says 890 00:50:11,261 --> 00:50:16,058 Who says you're not perfect? Who says you're not worth it? 891 00:50:16,141 --> 00:50:19,853 Who says you're the only one That's hurtin'? 892 00:50:19,937 --> 00:50:21,605 I was really shy in school, 893 00:50:22,147 --> 00:50:25,901 so I would usually just hang out with two friends. 894 00:50:26,401 --> 00:50:31,823 And my cousin was, like, the captain of the cheer leading team, 895 00:50:31,907 --> 00:50:34,535 and so nobody would pick on me because of my cousin. 896 00:50:34,618 --> 00:50:37,704 My cousin, like, controls everything. 897 00:50:37,788 --> 00:50:38,622 Okay. 898 00:50:38,705 --> 00:50:43,377 For me, I grew up in a family of eight, like my mom and dad have eight kids. 899 00:50:43,919 --> 00:50:46,547 My mom told me that they want me to be married off, 900 00:50:46,630 --> 00:50:48,632 but, at some point, they said that, 901 00:50:48,715 --> 00:50:52,553 "Since you got a school where you got a scholarship to go and learn, 902 00:50:52,636 --> 00:50:54,263 there's no need for us." 903 00:50:54,346 --> 00:50:55,681 For them, they don't pay any fee. 904 00:50:55,764 --> 00:50:57,766 So they told me I'm not going to be married off. 905 00:50:58,725 --> 00:51:01,019 - That's very interesting. - Do you believe in love? 906 00:51:02,312 --> 00:51:04,106 In love? 907 00:51:04,189 --> 00:51:05,774 Do you believe in love? 908 00:51:07,818 --> 00:51:10,112 - 'Cause I know you love each other. - Yeah. 909 00:51:11,321 --> 00:51:12,573 Love is just a gift. 910 00:51:12,656 --> 00:51:14,324 - Yeah. - Yeah. 911 00:51:16,159 --> 00:51:19,246 Is it something that you look forward to, or you just think... 912 00:51:19,329 --> 00:51:21,164 - You focus on what you do… - For me... 913 00:51:21,248 --> 00:51:23,417 - …and then it comes. Right? - Yeah. 914 00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:25,794 Or, like, having a boyfriend or such. 915 00:51:25,878 --> 00:51:30,048 So, for me, I will get one when I'm done with my high school. 916 00:51:30,132 --> 00:51:31,258 Love it. 917 00:51:31,341 --> 00:51:33,886 Because I don't want to split my mind. 918 00:51:33,969 --> 00:51:35,846 So, I want to concentrate first here. 919 00:51:37,222 --> 00:51:39,099 Just when the house is being built, 920 00:51:39,183 --> 00:51:41,101 you cannot start building by the roof. 921 00:51:41,185 --> 00:51:42,978 You start by the foundation. 922 00:51:43,061 --> 00:51:44,688 So, I don't have the foundation, 923 00:51:44,771 --> 00:51:47,107 so till I'm done with form four… 924 00:51:47,191 --> 00:51:49,443 Then after that, I can now think about that. 925 00:51:50,652 --> 00:51:51,653 I love that. 926 00:51:51,737 --> 00:51:53,280 That's really well said. 927 00:52:02,956 --> 00:52:05,959 - My name? Selena. - Selena? 928 00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:07,252 - Yeah. - Selena. 929 00:52:07,336 --> 00:52:09,630 - What's your name? - Diana. 930 00:52:09,713 --> 00:52:11,215 Diana? 931 00:52:11,298 --> 00:52:12,841 Beautiful. 932 00:52:14,343 --> 00:52:15,344 Raquelle. 933 00:52:15,969 --> 00:52:22,601 - Oh yes. She says, "I have a son." - Right! Your son... He's old. Okay. 934 00:52:24,186 --> 00:52:25,562 Do you think he'd like me? 935 00:52:26,647 --> 00:52:27,689 How old's he? 936 00:52:28,315 --> 00:52:31,652 - He's like, 20, 21 years old. - Okay! 937 00:52:31,735 --> 00:52:33,529 - That works. - That might be better, 938 00:52:33,612 --> 00:52:40,285 maybe more for Selena. We're both 27. Selena likes younger guys. Yeah. 939 00:52:40,369 --> 00:52:44,248 Oh, my gosh. What? Raquelle! 940 00:52:45,499 --> 00:52:47,376 I have, in the past. 941 00:52:52,005 --> 00:52:54,591 I'm a little worried my lupus is flaring up. 942 00:52:55,759 --> 00:52:57,761 Here, will you open this, please? 943 00:52:58,846 --> 00:53:01,139 My hands are still so messed up. 944 00:53:01,223 --> 00:53:02,307 Shaky? 945 00:53:02,391 --> 00:53:04,268 No, they're... They hurt. 946 00:53:04,351 --> 00:53:06,687 - So, every time I do this, they hurt. - Why? 947 00:53:07,271 --> 00:53:11,066 I don't know. I went to the doctor and he said he didn't see any swollen. 948 00:53:11,149 --> 00:53:16,530 Said the only way that, you know, we could find out is if I did, like, a... 949 00:53:16,613 --> 00:53:17,739 Thank you. 950 00:53:18,699 --> 00:53:22,160 - I had to do a CAT scan or whatever? MRI. - Oh, yeah. 951 00:53:22,244 --> 00:53:24,037 I think I might when I get back. 952 00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:32,963 My name is Betty Chep, and I'm a student here taking nursing. 953 00:53:33,046 --> 00:53:35,424 When you're checking your blood pressure, which average… 954 00:53:35,507 --> 00:53:37,134 Being a nurse, you're there with people 955 00:53:37,217 --> 00:53:38,927 when they feel so bad, and support them. 956 00:53:39,011 --> 00:53:41,305 So I felt that's the best thing that I can do in life. 957 00:53:42,181 --> 00:53:44,224 My dad was my role model. 958 00:53:44,308 --> 00:53:46,143 And he really taught me that… 959 00:53:46,226 --> 00:53:48,812 In this life, you have to show people empathy, 960 00:53:48,896 --> 00:53:51,815 have a chance to give people more than what you receive. 961 00:53:51,899 --> 00:53:52,816 Yeah. 962 00:53:52,900 --> 00:53:54,651 I believe in God. 963 00:53:54,735 --> 00:53:57,905 I always tell myself that no matter what people think about me, 964 00:53:57,988 --> 00:53:59,990 and what God has planned for me in my life, 965 00:54:00,073 --> 00:54:01,992 that is what I will achieve in life. Yeah. 966 00:54:02,075 --> 00:54:03,327 - That's amazing. - Yeah. 967 00:54:04,328 --> 00:54:06,413 - I believe in God as well. - Wow. 968 00:54:08,624 --> 00:54:11,752 I was born in a middle-class family. 969 00:54:11,835 --> 00:54:14,254 But unfortunately, when I was in grade ten, 970 00:54:14,338 --> 00:54:17,591 my dad passed in a road accident. 971 00:54:17,674 --> 00:54:21,720 My mom was not able to raise school fees for me to go to the campus. 972 00:54:21,803 --> 00:54:24,056 So I had to stay home six years. 973 00:54:24,139 --> 00:54:28,435 Just fetching firewood, collecting water, and doing some home chores. 974 00:54:28,519 --> 00:54:30,812 So in those six years, I felt so terrible, 975 00:54:30,896 --> 00:54:35,526 because I felt that I was becoming a burden to my mom and everybody. 976 00:54:35,609 --> 00:54:38,320 So I felt so discouraged and so hopeless. 977 00:54:38,403 --> 00:54:41,114 So I went to the river, and then I felt that… 978 00:54:41,198 --> 00:54:43,325 "Let me just drown myself into this river." 979 00:54:43,408 --> 00:54:45,452 End it here, so that… 980 00:54:45,536 --> 00:54:47,579 I will never see my mother suffer, 981 00:54:47,663 --> 00:54:49,998 I will never see my sisters and my siblings… 982 00:54:50,082 --> 00:54:51,542 "Just let me end this." 983 00:54:52,793 --> 00:54:54,920 And I sat there for some time, and I thought… 984 00:54:55,003 --> 00:54:58,924 "If I end my life now, and I'm the firstborn in my family… 985 00:54:59,007 --> 00:55:01,009 What example will I have shown to my family?" 986 00:55:01,093 --> 00:55:03,053 - Wow. - So I woke up, 987 00:55:03,136 --> 00:55:04,972 took the water, and went home. 988 00:55:05,055 --> 00:55:06,515 After two weeks… 989 00:55:06,598 --> 00:55:09,476 I was called for an interview here at the WE College. 990 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:10,769 - Wow. - Just a miracle. 991 00:55:10,853 --> 00:55:13,647 But look at me now. I'm a role model in my community. 992 00:55:13,730 --> 00:55:14,565 You are. 993 00:55:14,648 --> 00:55:17,568 Some people call me and tell me to talk... to speak to the girls… 994 00:55:17,651 --> 00:55:21,822 And I usually tell them, even if it means doing what you do daily… 995 00:55:21,905 --> 00:55:24,783 Continue doing it, and a miracle will come ahead of you. 996 00:55:24,867 --> 00:55:26,118 - Yeah. - Yeah. 997 00:55:26,702 --> 00:55:31,999 That takes so much courage, to think about wanting to end your life. 998 00:55:33,542 --> 00:55:37,963 And understanding that that's not what you are meant to do. 999 00:55:38,046 --> 00:55:40,132 - Yes. - All by yourself. 1000 00:55:40,215 --> 00:55:43,177 And I really relate to that. So when you say that, 1001 00:55:43,260 --> 00:55:47,389 I know that feeling where you're about to do something 1002 00:55:47,472 --> 00:55:48,807 - to hurt yourself. - Yeah. 1003 00:55:50,851 --> 00:55:53,228 And I'm so happy to know you. 1004 00:55:53,312 --> 00:55:55,772 It's an honor for me to know you too. 1005 00:56:09,203 --> 00:56:10,913 Raquelle! Come on. 1006 00:56:22,132 --> 00:56:24,801 One of my, like, goals in life... 1007 00:56:24,885 --> 00:56:28,555 I've, like, had this in my mind for seven years, 1008 00:56:29,306 --> 00:56:32,267 - is to create a bill… - Yeah. Oh, wow. 1009 00:56:32,351 --> 00:56:37,856 …where it is required to have a therapy, sort of, class 1010 00:56:37,940 --> 00:56:40,943 in elementary school on to high school. 1011 00:56:41,443 --> 00:56:44,613 I just think, you know, when you're a kid and you're in kindergarten, 1012 00:56:44,696 --> 00:56:46,865 they ask you, like, how you're feeling. 1013 00:56:46,949 --> 00:56:50,869 There's, like, a smiley face or sad face, and they're learning emotions, 1014 00:56:50,953 --> 00:56:56,583 and that's amazing, but then why would we not continue to talk about that? 1015 00:56:56,667 --> 00:56:59,503 - Feelings only get more complicated… - Yes. 1016 00:56:59,586 --> 00:57:02,840 …and it gets harder to navigate. 1017 00:57:02,923 --> 00:57:05,300 - Can I ask a very odd question? - Yeah. 1018 00:57:05,384 --> 00:57:08,387 - What's holding you back from doing it? - It's ready to go. 1019 00:57:09,930 --> 00:57:12,474 That I'm not able to. That I'm not capable. 1020 00:57:14,935 --> 00:57:16,979 You know, I'm not good enough. 1021 00:57:19,106 --> 00:57:24,361 I don't know. That's something that I've felt a lot of growing up. 1022 00:57:26,572 --> 00:57:27,573 Yeah. 1023 00:57:27,656 --> 00:57:32,828 But it's the very thing that makes you feel that, 1024 00:57:33,453 --> 00:57:35,289 is why you can relate to others. 1025 00:57:35,372 --> 00:57:38,250 So it's the exact reason why you are the perfect person. 1026 00:57:43,172 --> 00:57:46,258 The truth is, I've never felt good enough. 1027 00:57:47,259 --> 00:57:49,845 Even when I'm on stage and in front of a crowd, 1028 00:57:49,928 --> 00:57:53,932 I'll always find the one person who doesn't like me, and I believe them. 1029 00:57:54,975 --> 00:57:56,602 I wanna believe in myself. 1030 00:57:57,936 --> 00:58:00,439 The people I've met here in Kenya are so giving. 1031 00:58:01,148 --> 00:58:03,692 I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them. 1032 00:58:06,028 --> 00:58:07,404 We can talk more later. 1033 00:58:07,487 --> 00:58:08,687 - About what? - About all this. 1034 00:58:09,156 --> 00:58:11,658 - About what? I know. - I know you're feeling sad. 1035 00:58:11,742 --> 00:58:13,452 We should do a trip quarterly. 1036 00:58:13,535 --> 00:58:15,662 Like, we should plan this, like, every quarter. 1037 00:58:16,288 --> 00:58:21,084 We also need to talk about, like, why you hate going home so much, 1038 00:58:21,168 --> 00:58:23,021 why you don't wanna turn on your phone. Like, that's... 1039 00:58:23,045 --> 00:58:24,379 You shouldn't feel that way. 1040 00:58:24,463 --> 00:58:27,508 Do you know what I mean? So it's like, what can you implement in your life 1041 00:58:27,591 --> 00:58:30,344 that makes you not anxious to turn on your phone, 1042 00:58:30,427 --> 00:58:34,139 that makes you not sad to go home, that makes you not hate your job. 1043 00:58:34,223 --> 00:58:35,283 Do you know what I'm saying? 1044 00:58:35,307 --> 00:58:38,352 It's like, what... 'Cause you can implement things in your life 1045 00:58:38,435 --> 00:58:39,579 that help you get through that. 1046 00:58:39,603 --> 00:58:42,981 You don't have to live your life constantly in that state. 1047 00:58:43,065 --> 00:58:46,485 In a way, that's just escaping reality. Do you know what I mean? It's like... 1048 00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:48,111 Or is this reality? 1049 00:58:48,195 --> 00:58:51,073 This isn't reality. This is their reality. This is... 1050 00:58:51,156 --> 00:58:53,450 This can be reality a few times a year. 1051 00:58:53,534 --> 00:58:56,203 You can come and volunteer and come for a week, 1052 00:58:56,286 --> 00:58:58,539 but this is... this isn't reality. 1053 00:59:00,707 --> 00:59:04,837 I just wanna stay here forever 1054 00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:07,548 I don't wanna close my eyes 1055 00:59:08,966 --> 00:59:13,011 I just wanna stay here forever 1056 00:59:13,095 --> 00:59:15,889 I don't wanna close my eyes 1057 00:59:17,224 --> 00:59:20,686 I just wanna stay here forever 1058 00:59:21,436 --> 00:59:24,147 I don't wanna close my eyes 1059 00:59:25,482 --> 00:59:29,444 I just wanna stay here forever 1060 00:59:29,528 --> 00:59:33,282 I don't wanna close my eyes 1061 00:59:54,386 --> 00:59:56,680 - Who is that? - The paparazzi's blocking. 1062 00:59:56,763 --> 00:59:58,640 Oh, my God. That's a paparazzi carpool. 1063 00:59:58,724 --> 01:00:00,058 Yeah, they're teaming up. 1064 01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,606 It's very loud here, Chris. 1065 01:00:05,689 --> 01:00:06,940 I know. 1066 01:00:08,567 --> 01:00:11,904 I do feel, like, a bit of a culture shock. 1067 01:00:11,987 --> 01:00:12,988 I know. 1068 01:00:14,656 --> 01:00:17,409 Selena? Good morning. 1069 01:00:17,993 --> 01:00:18,994 Hey. 1070 01:00:19,828 --> 01:00:23,457 It's 7:00. Glam's gonna start in a half hour. 1071 01:00:24,124 --> 01:00:25,501 Selly? 1072 01:00:26,293 --> 01:00:28,462 Oh no, I just had a bad dream. 1073 01:00:28,545 --> 01:00:31,882 Do you know, I didn't have one bad dream in Kenya? 1074 01:00:31,965 --> 01:00:34,068 - I know, and then... - She didn't have bad dreams in Kenya. 1075 01:00:34,092 --> 01:00:35,093 What was I saying? 1076 01:00:35,177 --> 01:00:38,096 I only heard a few things 'cause you were, like, mumbling, 1077 01:00:38,180 --> 01:00:41,683 but, like, the one thing was, like, "I got coffee for everyone!" 1078 01:00:41,767 --> 01:00:44,311 - And I was like, "Oh, wow!" - She said that? 1079 01:00:44,394 --> 01:00:45,687 And then she was like… 1080 01:00:46,772 --> 01:00:48,065 Doing stuff like today, 1081 01:00:48,148 --> 01:00:52,152 it allows you the platform to really be able to do trips like that 1082 01:00:52,236 --> 01:00:53,987 and make a difference, you know? 1083 01:00:54,071 --> 01:00:57,908 So even though this kind of stuff's hard, it, you know… 1084 01:00:58,408 --> 01:01:01,286 Can you order some Thai? That Thai dish? 1085 01:01:01,370 --> 01:01:03,163 You want Thai right now? 7:00 a.m.? 1086 01:01:03,247 --> 01:01:04,706 - Yep. - Let's make it happen. 1087 01:01:09,461 --> 01:01:14,341 In the studio, it is the one, the only, the absolute queen that is Selena Gomez! 1088 01:01:15,884 --> 01:01:17,364 - So, your album's coming out. - Yeah. 1089 01:01:17,427 --> 01:01:18,512 You had a break from music. 1090 01:01:18,595 --> 01:01:21,306 What did you get up to on your time off, on your break away? 1091 01:01:21,390 --> 01:01:25,435 Some stuff happened in between that was a bit personal and hard, 1092 01:01:25,519 --> 01:01:31,358 and then towards the end, it was necessary. 1093 01:01:31,441 --> 01:01:33,694 Hello, everyone. I am Selena Gomez, 1094 01:01:33,777 --> 01:01:37,990 and I am answering questions from the Internet. 1095 01:01:38,073 --> 01:01:41,118 "Selena Gomez eats Oreos with a fork." 1096 01:01:41,201 --> 01:01:44,413 These are just great. I'm doing great things for the world. 1097 01:01:44,496 --> 01:01:46,057 Which interview number is this of the day? 1098 01:01:46,081 --> 01:01:47,082 Four. 1099 01:01:47,165 --> 01:01:48,750 - Four? - Four already? 1100 01:01:48,834 --> 01:01:50,878 Selena, your single 1101 01:01:50,961 --> 01:01:52,730 makes me really emotional, and I want to give you a hug 1102 01:01:52,754 --> 01:01:55,174 and wrap you in a blanket and just talk about boys forever. 1103 01:01:55,257 --> 01:01:57,843 I think the point of the song is so that I really 1104 01:01:57,926 --> 01:02:00,220 don't need to sit around and talk about boys. 1105 01:02:01,346 --> 01:02:03,056 Selena, for your fans! 1106 01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:06,143 Hey, it's Selena Gomez, and I'm playing the Emoji Game. 1107 01:02:06,226 --> 01:02:08,770 But have you got a guilty-pleasure weird food combination? 1108 01:02:08,854 --> 01:02:10,230 Popcorn and pickle juice. 1109 01:02:10,314 --> 01:02:11,940 What is your favorite color? 1110 01:02:12,024 --> 01:02:13,942 My favorite color is red. 1111 01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:17,654 - Wizards of Waverly Place. - Stop. 1112 01:02:19,156 --> 01:02:21,491 So it's one DJ equals one word. 1113 01:02:22,242 --> 01:02:23,952 "Marshmello." 1114 01:02:24,953 --> 01:02:27,206 - Fluffy. - Okay. And that's it. Thank you. 1115 01:02:27,289 --> 01:02:28,916 - Thank you. - Thanks. 1116 01:02:28,999 --> 01:02:30,292 Oh. Okay, sorry. 1117 01:02:34,713 --> 01:02:37,007 Those were some weird-ass questions. 1118 01:02:38,383 --> 01:02:40,761 It just seems like such a waste of time. 1119 01:02:43,847 --> 01:02:45,390 What am I doing right now? 1120 01:02:46,767 --> 01:02:51,021 Right now, we're getting up, and then glam is coming in ten minutes. 1121 01:02:52,022 --> 01:02:54,358 Sorry, I was asleep. What do I have to do? 1122 01:02:57,444 --> 01:02:59,484 The feelings that you feel when you're jet-lagged... 1123 01:02:59,530 --> 01:03:01,031 You never feel them any other time. 1124 01:03:01,114 --> 01:03:04,368 - What is that? - Like, combination of all things. 1125 01:03:04,451 --> 01:03:06,328 - It's not even tired. - I know. 1126 01:03:06,411 --> 01:03:09,373 You feel like you are just in another world. 1127 01:03:09,456 --> 01:03:11,250 - Like, in space. - Yeah. 1128 01:03:17,256 --> 01:03:18,465 Okay, put in. 1129 01:03:26,682 --> 01:03:27,766 There's my ride. 1130 01:03:33,856 --> 01:03:37,693 You know we have Marissa's birthday dinner the night we get back? 1131 01:03:38,694 --> 01:03:41,488 The night we get back? No. I'd rather do what I'm doing. 1132 01:03:41,572 --> 01:03:44,908 I'm not going to that. I have to do... Shoot a music video the next day. 1133 01:03:46,535 --> 01:03:47,536 Nice. 1134 01:03:48,161 --> 01:03:50,581 - I mean, it's a lot. - It'll be good. 1135 01:03:50,664 --> 01:03:53,625 No, it is good, but you're gonna be kind of messed up for a few days. 1136 01:03:53,709 --> 01:03:55,961 Yeah, totally. Just thought you would wanna come, 1137 01:03:56,044 --> 01:03:57,588 - but that's just... - I would, 1138 01:03:57,671 --> 01:03:59,965 - but I'm not gonna have one day to adjust. - Okay. 1139 01:04:00,048 --> 01:04:03,177 Do you think that I'm complaining about my job? 1140 01:04:03,260 --> 01:04:07,431 Yeah. You felt... You sounded like you were. 1141 01:04:07,514 --> 01:04:10,851 Not at all. Raquelle, I was saying I need to get rest. 1142 01:04:10,934 --> 01:04:14,021 - Not like it's a bad thing. Of course I... - No, it's not a bad thing. 1143 01:04:14,104 --> 01:04:15,904 It was the way you said it. Not what you said. 1144 01:04:15,981 --> 01:04:18,150 So I was not complaining about work. 1145 01:04:18,233 --> 01:04:22,279 I was literally just complaining that it'd be nice if I get more sleep. 1146 01:04:26,700 --> 01:04:29,661 - You think I'm ungrateful for it... - No, I don't think you're ungrateful. 1147 01:04:29,745 --> 01:04:33,415 I just feel like you've been so ups... Like, down, over the past couple days, 1148 01:04:33,498 --> 01:04:36,210 so I just... I'm trying to figure out what's going on. 1149 01:04:36,293 --> 01:04:38,253 But we had the most amazing week in Africa... 1150 01:04:38,337 --> 01:04:39,713 I know. 1151 01:04:40,297 --> 01:04:41,340 I'm just waking up. 1152 01:04:41,423 --> 01:04:44,551 You've heard me tell everybody how much I love London. 1153 01:04:44,635 --> 01:04:46,386 What else do you want from me? 1154 01:04:46,929 --> 01:04:47,930 Nothing. 1155 01:04:53,852 --> 01:04:57,147 I just was asking, "Are you good?" 'Cause you don't seem happy. 1156 01:04:57,231 --> 01:04:58,607 I'm having fun. 1157 01:04:58,690 --> 01:05:00,317 Good. I'm so happy you're having fun. 1158 01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,362 Like, it doesn't seem like it to me, so I was just asking you. 1159 01:05:03,445 --> 01:05:05,656 I'm so fucking done. 1160 01:05:22,714 --> 01:05:23,715 Hey. 1161 01:05:25,008 --> 01:05:27,761 About your new album, what would you like your fans 1162 01:05:27,845 --> 01:05:30,305 to keep in mind with this new project? 1163 01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:35,018 So I felt like it was the right time to tell my story 1164 01:05:35,102 --> 01:05:38,272 before it's past a point that it didn't matter. 1165 01:05:38,355 --> 01:05:41,775 I felt like the message I needed to release in "Lose You to Love Me" 1166 01:05:41,859 --> 01:05:44,236 was meant to be a song for others. 1167 01:05:44,319 --> 01:05:47,072 It's meant to tell people that they're not alone 1168 01:05:47,155 --> 01:05:49,867 and that it's such a complicated feeling, 1169 01:05:49,950 --> 01:05:52,828 and the one thing you wanna do is be able to let it go. 1170 01:05:52,911 --> 01:05:58,458 You're a singer, you're an actor, you worked into production, in fashion. 1171 01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:01,837 Is there any other hat you would like to try? 1172 01:06:02,629 --> 01:06:03,755 In future? 1173 01:06:04,423 --> 01:06:08,510 I gotta say I'll do a little bit of all of this for a while. 1174 01:06:08,594 --> 01:06:11,346 But eventually, when it all slows down for me, 1175 01:06:11,430 --> 01:06:15,517 I'm probably going to devote most of my life to philanthropy. 1176 01:06:16,185 --> 01:06:17,545 - Okay. That's good for me. - Yeah. 1177 01:06:18,145 --> 01:06:19,688 Wow. Thank you. 1178 01:06:21,273 --> 01:06:23,317 - Appreciate it. - Thank you very much. 1179 01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:24,985 Felt like you really understood. 1180 01:06:26,778 --> 01:06:27,821 All right, are we good? 1181 01:06:27,905 --> 01:06:29,865 - Yeah. - Getting on my nerves. 1182 01:06:33,535 --> 01:06:34,661 Can I sit, please? 1183 01:06:34,745 --> 01:06:35,913 Yeah, honey. 1184 01:06:36,830 --> 01:06:38,332 - Come on in. - We're done. 1185 01:06:38,415 --> 01:06:39,583 We're gonna change you. 1186 01:06:39,666 --> 01:06:42,211 - Fucking dumbest thing I've ever done. - What happened? 1187 01:06:43,045 --> 01:06:46,465 I'm done. I can't do that anymore. That's so stupid. 1188 01:06:46,548 --> 01:06:49,051 Do you know how, like, cheap it makes me feel? I... 1189 01:06:49,134 --> 01:06:50,427 Yeah. 1190 01:06:50,511 --> 01:06:53,472 She was asking me questions, like, good ones, 1191 01:06:53,555 --> 01:06:57,100 and then she didn't even pay attention to what I was saying. 1192 01:06:59,394 --> 01:07:00,714 I don't wanna do that ever again. 1193 01:07:01,522 --> 01:07:03,440 I feel like a product. 1194 01:07:04,483 --> 01:07:05,567 Oh, God. 1195 01:07:10,030 --> 01:07:12,658 - It was, like, making me angry. - Yeah. 1196 01:07:13,534 --> 01:07:16,745 You know what it is, is it made me feel like Disney. 1197 01:07:17,746 --> 01:07:19,122 It's a trigger. 1198 01:07:19,206 --> 01:07:24,628 I don't... I just... I've spent years of my life trying to not be that. 1199 01:07:25,963 --> 01:07:28,215 I fucking look like a witch, 1200 01:07:28,298 --> 01:07:30,968 with the outfit doing it all... Like, the wand again. 1201 01:07:33,637 --> 01:07:35,639 - Whatever. It's fine. - You got it done. 1202 01:07:35,722 --> 01:07:37,282 - You don't have to do it again. - Yeah. 1203 01:07:46,316 --> 01:07:47,651 Hi. 1204 01:07:49,111 --> 01:07:50,904 Selena! 1205 01:07:54,950 --> 01:07:59,246 - Hi, Selena. How are you? - Selena! 1206 01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:05,752 Selena! 1207 01:08:07,337 --> 01:08:09,131 I'm going over there. 1208 01:08:09,631 --> 01:08:10,883 You're so pretty. Thank you. 1209 01:08:10,966 --> 01:08:13,594 How are you? It's okay. 1210 01:08:15,596 --> 01:08:17,680 It's okay. You're all good. 1211 01:08:17,764 --> 01:08:20,142 - Everything's... Good tears, hopefully? - Yes, yes, yes. 1212 01:08:20,225 --> 01:08:21,059 Okay. 1213 01:08:21,143 --> 01:08:23,478 - Can we take a picture? - Yeah. Let's take a picture. 1214 01:08:23,562 --> 01:08:24,897 Selena, photo, quick! 1215 01:08:29,734 --> 01:08:31,987 - All right? - I'm good. Okay. 1216 01:08:57,179 --> 01:08:58,930 Do you want to do your morning meds? 1217 01:09:00,515 --> 01:09:04,185 I know the answer, but… you should. 1218 01:09:07,898 --> 01:09:09,774 Morning, Selena! 1219 01:09:18,450 --> 01:09:20,911 Just attach it to the inside or up and under. 1220 01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:24,997 Do you know what you're doing? 1221 01:09:25,082 --> 01:09:27,751 Nope. I work better that way. 1222 01:09:27,835 --> 01:09:30,796 Well, we're gonna leave you in the room, basically alone. 1223 01:09:30,879 --> 01:09:33,107 You're doing it to the mirror. It's a conversation with yourself. 1224 01:09:33,131 --> 01:09:35,384 - Okay. - And then you'll just hear 1225 01:09:36,510 --> 01:09:38,670 directions from... Coming from that speaker over there. 1226 01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:40,471 - Mkay. - And then we'll just roll with it. 1227 01:09:41,055 --> 01:09:42,349 - All right. - Awesome. 1228 01:09:44,059 --> 01:09:47,854 Hi, Selena. Could you please open the first envelope? 1229 01:09:52,359 --> 01:09:55,737 "A song that reminds you of being in love." 1230 01:10:07,165 --> 01:10:08,667 I don't know if I have one. 1231 01:10:11,170 --> 01:10:13,172 Envelope number two, please. 1232 01:10:18,719 --> 01:10:20,679 "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" 1233 01:10:20,762 --> 01:10:22,055 Why are they so deep? 1234 01:10:27,102 --> 01:10:28,187 I… 1235 01:10:31,481 --> 01:10:32,482 I see… 1236 01:10:35,527 --> 01:10:38,822 Yeah. Still working on what I see in the mirror, I suppose. 1237 01:10:41,491 --> 01:10:42,868 These are good questions. 1238 01:10:43,952 --> 01:10:46,580 What's your ultimate dream? 1239 01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:54,004 My ultimate dream is that I am able to save… 1240 01:10:54,838 --> 01:10:56,882 People's lives through… 1241 01:10:58,300 --> 01:10:59,301 Through something, 1242 01:10:59,384 --> 01:11:04,723 whether it's a song, music, or if it's me, just speaking about the troubles 1243 01:11:04,806 --> 01:11:07,184 and the trials and tribulations that I had gone through. 1244 01:11:07,267 --> 01:11:12,523 That I could be a voice for others who maybe don't know what's going on 1245 01:11:12,606 --> 01:11:13,732 or what they're feeling. 1246 01:11:14,358 --> 01:11:16,401 That's what I hope. 1247 01:11:16,485 --> 01:11:19,154 Incredible. Thank you so much. 1248 01:11:31,083 --> 01:11:33,836 There is a girl who's crippled by anxiety 1249 01:11:35,337 --> 01:11:37,714 and can't move when she looks in the mirror. 1250 01:11:39,341 --> 01:11:43,595 She smiles when everyone is looking but cries when she's alone. 1251 01:11:45,222 --> 01:11:48,141 She hides because she's terrified to show herself. 1252 01:11:51,186 --> 01:11:52,604 My world is so empty. 1253 01:11:53,689 --> 01:11:55,732 My world is so big and cold. 1254 01:11:58,527 --> 01:12:00,153 I want joy and hope. 1255 01:12:01,238 --> 01:12:03,365 Clean air where I can finally breathe. 1256 01:12:05,158 --> 01:12:08,620 What has been is not what will be. 1257 01:12:24,136 --> 01:12:27,097 Why is everyone wearing a T-shirt that says "rare"? 1258 01:12:29,725 --> 01:12:32,227 Rare is out now. Rolling Stone loves it. 1259 01:12:32,311 --> 01:12:33,645 Billboard calls you triumphant. 1260 01:12:33,729 --> 01:12:36,648 Variety said Rare's one of the best pop albums to be released 1261 01:12:36,732 --> 01:12:38,358 - in recent memory. - This is Selena's 1262 01:12:38,442 --> 01:12:41,111 third studio album and her first in four years. 1263 01:12:41,195 --> 01:12:44,781 The singer saying, "It's by far the work I'm most proud of to date." 1264 01:12:45,616 --> 01:12:46,992 Kenya was like a dream. 1265 01:12:47,743 --> 01:12:50,621 When I even asked about boys, just out of curiosity 1266 01:12:50,704 --> 01:12:52,998 they were like, "No." 1267 01:12:53,081 --> 01:12:54,333 We're just"... 1268 01:12:54,416 --> 01:12:57,461 You know, they giggled. They're like, "We want to do what we want to do, 1269 01:12:57,544 --> 01:12:59,630 and then it will happen." And I was like, preach. 1270 01:12:59,713 --> 01:13:01,131 That's awesome. 1271 01:13:01,215 --> 01:13:06,011 I mean, these girls were more confident than I was, and it was beautiful to see. 1272 01:13:06,094 --> 01:13:09,097 And at times... I'm very… 1273 01:13:10,057 --> 01:13:11,850 I over think 1274 01:13:11,934 --> 01:13:15,812 and I feel like if I'm not having some sort of aspect of my life 1275 01:13:15,896 --> 01:13:20,484 where I'm giving, it's not... It makes me f... 1276 01:13:20,567 --> 01:13:22,086 It doesn't make me feel good. It makes me feel 1277 01:13:22,110 --> 01:13:26,406 like I'm just taking, taking, taking and people should give me this 1278 01:13:26,490 --> 01:13:28,492 and give me that, 1279 01:13:28,575 --> 01:13:30,619 even though that's not my personality. 1280 01:13:30,702 --> 01:13:33,413 So now I want to make it a quarterly thing. 1281 01:13:34,081 --> 01:13:36,083 I have a dinner with Aleen and Zack, 1282 01:13:36,166 --> 01:13:37,960 and we're gonna discuss, you know, 1283 01:13:38,043 --> 01:13:39,127 - my goals. - Yeah. 1284 01:13:40,295 --> 01:13:45,425 Can we talk, for a minute, about the trip and the WE organization, 1285 01:13:45,509 --> 01:13:46,969 and why don't you start? 1286 01:13:47,052 --> 01:13:49,721 Like just tell us a little bit about what you're thinking. 1287 01:13:49,805 --> 01:13:53,350 I would love to find a way to build a curriculum 1288 01:13:53,433 --> 01:13:55,936 that can be taught in schools. 1289 01:13:56,019 --> 01:14:01,316 There's so much to be said about being connected with your emotions 1290 01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:02,651 and having that intelligence. 1291 01:14:02,734 --> 01:14:05,445 You're kind of like... I mean, you're kinda fucked 1292 01:14:05,529 --> 01:14:07,048 - if you don't understand it. - You also... 1293 01:14:07,072 --> 01:14:08,716 You have no compassion, you have no empathy. 1294 01:14:08,740 --> 01:14:10,409 - Yeah. - You have no way 1295 01:14:10,492 --> 01:14:13,328 of connecting with people because you don't even know how to. 1296 01:14:13,412 --> 01:14:16,164 This is sort of the thing that you want to be. 1297 01:14:16,248 --> 01:14:18,000 - It's something... - You wanna do. 1298 01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:20,169 Very, very important to me. 1299 01:14:21,545 --> 01:14:25,340 I want to start today with discussion over a deadly new virus 1300 01:14:25,424 --> 01:14:28,427 that some health officials say might affect thousands 1301 01:14:28,510 --> 01:14:30,762 or even millions of people this year. 1302 01:14:30,846 --> 01:14:33,473 The second US case announced just this morning. 1303 01:14:33,557 --> 01:14:36,476 It's a new strain of what's called coronavirus. 1304 01:14:39,605 --> 01:14:41,273 Major cities across the country 1305 01:14:41,356 --> 01:14:42,983 are looking more like ghost towns. 1306 01:14:43,066 --> 01:14:45,736 Seemingly overnight, much of our daily lives have been 1307 01:14:45,819 --> 01:14:46,862 put on hold. 1308 01:14:46,945 --> 01:14:50,824 All Americans now trying to navigate what we're kind of calling "a new normal." 1309 01:14:51,867 --> 01:14:54,077 Infrastructure from large private companies 1310 01:14:54,161 --> 01:14:56,163 like Microsoft to the Department of Energy 1311 01:14:56,246 --> 01:14:59,291 and even the Department of Treasury all hit. 1312 01:14:59,374 --> 01:15:01,960 - Lawmakers are now demanding answers… - Hey Sel, 1313 01:15:02,044 --> 01:15:03,795 we're going to take your blood pressure. 1314 01:15:03,879 --> 01:15:05,130 Hello, Winnie. 1315 01:15:07,007 --> 01:15:08,759 Good evening, and thanks for joining us. 1316 01:15:08,842 --> 01:15:10,886 We begin with breaking news about WE Charity, 1317 01:15:10,969 --> 01:15:13,764 the organization at the heart of the latest ethics investigation 1318 01:15:13,847 --> 01:15:15,891 involving Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. 1319 01:15:15,974 --> 01:15:19,186 WE Charity is shutting down its Canadian operations. 1320 01:15:19,269 --> 01:15:21,563 The charity ran into trouble after the Liberal government 1321 01:15:21,647 --> 01:15:25,400 awarded it a sole-sourced, multimillion-dollar contract to run a… 1322 01:15:25,484 --> 01:15:27,653 The accusations against the WE Charity 1323 01:15:27,736 --> 01:15:31,865 made the work I had just planned to do with them impossible. 1324 01:15:33,033 --> 01:15:34,409 The most important thing… 1325 01:15:34,493 --> 01:15:37,538 It broke my heart because I had seen their good intentions, 1326 01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:41,333 and I had met the women in Kenya whose lives had been changed. 1327 01:15:41,834 --> 01:15:43,836 But now it was all so complicated. 1328 01:15:43,919 --> 01:15:46,129 We started the organization back in 1995 1329 01:15:46,213 --> 01:15:49,174 when we were kids in Thorn hill, in our parent's basements, 1330 01:15:49,258 --> 01:15:52,378 - and this is our 25th anniversary… - Can't listen to it. That's such a bummer. 1331 01:15:52,845 --> 01:15:54,388 I was devastated. 1332 01:15:55,347 --> 01:15:56,348 I was angry. 1333 01:15:57,474 --> 01:16:01,937 The Covid-19 pandemic was beginning to cut us all off from friends and family. 1334 01:16:02,563 --> 01:16:06,066 And the purpose I had found in Kenya felt like it had been taken away. 1335 01:16:07,526 --> 01:16:09,903 Then just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, 1336 01:16:10,571 --> 01:16:11,572 it did. 1337 01:16:12,614 --> 01:16:13,657 I don't know. 1338 01:16:13,740 --> 01:16:14,950 My lupus. 1339 01:16:17,536 --> 01:16:18,662 You're in pain? 1340 01:16:19,663 --> 01:16:21,081 Give me a hug. I'm sorry. 1341 01:16:21,164 --> 01:16:22,666 - It's okay. - I love you. 1342 01:16:22,749 --> 01:16:24,293 I love you too. 1343 01:16:24,376 --> 01:16:25,794 It'll get better. 1344 01:16:26,420 --> 01:16:28,881 They're going to figure it out. You're going to feel better. 1345 01:16:28,964 --> 01:16:30,841 Is this what it felt like before, 1346 01:16:30,924 --> 01:16:32,509 when you found out you had lupus? 1347 01:16:33,218 --> 01:16:34,720 Yeah, but I was so young. 1348 01:16:34,803 --> 01:16:37,598 Like, I have not felt it since I was younger. 1349 01:16:38,223 --> 01:16:41,268 - Oh, my God. - And so, like, now, it just hurts, 1350 01:16:41,351 --> 01:16:43,645 like, in the morning when I wake up, 1351 01:16:44,354 --> 01:16:47,149 I immediately start crying because it hurts. 1352 01:16:47,232 --> 01:16:49,526 - Yeah. - Like, everything. 1353 01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:55,574 I've been having, like, really bad dreams about, like, my past and stuff. 1354 01:16:57,034 --> 01:17:01,997 I think my past and my mistakes, that's what drives me… 1355 01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:05,542 Into depression. 1356 01:17:05,626 --> 01:17:08,337 It's like, my whole life since I was a kid, I have been working 1357 01:17:08,420 --> 01:17:11,340 and the only thing that I want is, like, a family. 1358 01:17:12,758 --> 01:17:15,302 I just, like, wanna be, like, a mom. 1359 01:17:15,385 --> 01:17:19,014 And I told Raquelle, I just, like, wanted to quit sometimes, 1360 01:17:19,097 --> 01:17:23,727 so I could just be happy and be normal like everybody else. 1361 01:17:24,686 --> 01:17:28,690 And she was just like, "I want you to know that I feel like God has given you 1362 01:17:28,774 --> 01:17:31,235 this platform not to quit." 1363 01:17:33,070 --> 01:17:35,239 I don't want to be, like, super famous. 1364 01:17:35,322 --> 01:17:36,865 I don't wanna be all that stuff. 1365 01:17:36,949 --> 01:17:40,702 But I do know that if I'm here, I have to use that for good. 1366 01:17:42,120 --> 01:17:45,415 I just feel stuck, and I just want to move forward. 1367 01:17:46,708 --> 01:17:47,918 Hello. 1368 01:17:48,001 --> 01:17:50,254 Hi, it's Dr. Wallace. 1369 01:17:50,337 --> 01:17:54,174 So I wanted to go over your results with you. 1370 01:17:54,258 --> 01:17:58,053 You have a positive rheumatoid factor, 1371 01:17:58,136 --> 01:18:04,935 which means that this is a lupus myositis rheumatoid overlap. 1372 01:18:05,018 --> 01:18:09,398 We could give you another dose of Rituxan which would probably, 1373 01:18:09,481 --> 01:18:11,275 at the rate you handle it, 1374 01:18:11,358 --> 01:18:15,696 get rid of your joint pain for probably a year or so. 1375 01:18:19,825 --> 01:18:20,868 Okay. 1376 01:18:20,951 --> 01:18:22,744 - Okay, bye. - Bye, Dr. Wallace. 1377 01:18:22,828 --> 01:18:24,204 - Bye. - Bye. 1378 01:18:28,625 --> 01:18:31,044 At least that explains some of why. 1379 01:18:32,671 --> 01:18:36,675 Yeah, I just always feel better when I have answers, 1380 01:18:38,051 --> 01:18:42,931 but the Rituxan was really hard to do last time, but I... 1381 01:18:44,641 --> 01:18:45,851 What is it? 1382 01:18:45,934 --> 01:18:51,356 Rituxan is a treatment that they give you through an IV, 1383 01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:54,526 and it's about four hours, five hours. 1384 01:18:54,610 --> 01:19:00,199 It's really hard on your system at first, but it's okay. 1385 01:19:10,083 --> 01:19:11,084 It's okay. 1386 01:19:12,711 --> 01:19:17,049 They gave me something to relax because I can't stand being still. 1387 01:19:17,841 --> 01:19:20,052 My Nana didn't wanna come, because she's... 1388 01:19:21,094 --> 01:19:23,889 She's just seen me been put through all this. 1389 01:19:40,489 --> 01:19:41,990 Don't put it in your mouth. 1390 01:19:55,045 --> 01:19:56,046 Why am I here? 1391 01:19:56,964 --> 01:19:57,965 Why am I alive? 1392 01:19:58,048 --> 01:20:00,467 There she is, ballerina Thumbelina. 1393 01:20:00,968 --> 01:20:02,135 Clearly for something. 1394 01:20:04,596 --> 01:20:06,807 Baby's first bath. Let's see that rat. 1395 01:20:08,475 --> 01:20:09,977 All right, time for your bath. 1396 01:20:10,060 --> 01:20:11,311 Shut up. 1397 01:20:11,895 --> 01:20:14,565 I love my friends, love my family. I think I'm a great daughter. 1398 01:20:14,648 --> 01:20:18,652 I think I'm a great friend. And that means a lot to me. 1399 01:20:18,735 --> 01:20:21,071 What is happening? 1400 01:20:21,154 --> 01:20:25,284 But clearly, I'm still here to use whatever I have 1401 01:20:25,367 --> 01:20:26,535 to help someone else. 1402 01:20:30,372 --> 01:20:32,583 A part of my heart is still in Kenya, 1403 01:20:33,709 --> 01:20:37,921 but I felt guilty being there sometimes. 1404 01:20:38,547 --> 01:20:40,090 I don't know, I hate that. 1405 01:20:40,174 --> 01:20:44,928 I feel like I went, and I filmed, and I experienced. 1406 01:20:45,012 --> 01:20:48,640 But it's just so hard because I feel so selfish. 1407 01:20:48,724 --> 01:20:52,144 Yes, it was great. And yes, do I feel like I left an impact? Yes. 1408 01:20:52,227 --> 01:20:54,897 But do I feel like I've done enough? No. 1409 01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:58,567 Talking to someone about mental health in Kenya, 1410 01:21:00,986 --> 01:21:03,363 that's beautiful, you know. 1411 01:21:03,447 --> 01:21:04,740 I don't know... 1412 01:21:05,532 --> 01:21:07,159 I don't know if I felt like, 1413 01:21:07,242 --> 01:21:09,620 "Oh, I did it, and I'm such a great person." 1414 01:21:09,703 --> 01:21:12,664 It's like, you know, this is the beginning for me. 1415 01:21:20,172 --> 01:21:22,674 Hi everyone. I'm Selena Gomez. 1416 01:21:22,758 --> 01:21:28,138 And for World Mental Health Day, I wanted to invite Dr. Murthy, 1417 01:21:28,222 --> 01:21:31,225 the surgeon general, to chat with me about loneliness 1418 01:21:31,308 --> 01:21:36,396 and helping people access the resources they need to support their mental health. 1419 01:21:36,980 --> 01:21:39,107 That's very kind of you, Selena. I'm really glad 1420 01:21:39,191 --> 01:21:40,627 that we're having this conversation. 1421 01:21:40,651 --> 01:21:44,780 What we were facing pre-Covid-19 was already pretty challenging 1422 01:21:44,863 --> 01:21:48,659 in terms of high rates of loneliness and depression and anxiety, 1423 01:21:48,742 --> 01:21:51,870 and I worry that that's gotten worse for a lot of people. 1424 01:21:51,954 --> 01:21:57,709 How do we identify loneliness in ourselves and in others? 1425 01:21:57,793 --> 01:22:01,755 And do the symptoms of loneliness always look like being alone? 1426 01:22:02,339 --> 01:22:04,216 It's really hard to tell. 1427 01:22:04,299 --> 01:22:06,927 Even in a crowd, you can feel profoundly lonely. 1428 01:22:07,010 --> 01:22:09,638 And this is why the world is filled with so many people 1429 01:22:09,721 --> 01:22:12,432 who seemingly have it all, right? 1430 01:22:12,516 --> 01:22:16,562 They, you know, are famous, or they're wealthy, or they're powerful. 1431 01:22:16,645 --> 01:22:19,898 But what really matters is the quality of connections that we have. 1432 01:22:19,982 --> 01:22:21,900 That whenever we have interactions 1433 01:22:21,984 --> 01:22:24,064 with people where we feel like we can't be ourselves, 1434 01:22:24,111 --> 01:22:27,489 that actually separates us further and further from other people. 1435 01:22:27,573 --> 01:22:28,907 Yeah. 1436 01:22:28,991 --> 01:22:32,661 And service, it turns out, is one of the greatest antidotes 1437 01:22:32,744 --> 01:22:34,329 to loneliness that we have. 1438 01:22:34,413 --> 01:22:37,082 We reaffirm to ourselves that we have value 1439 01:22:37,165 --> 01:22:38,375 to bring to the world, 1440 01:22:38,458 --> 01:22:40,752 and it doesn't have to be going to a soup kitchen. 1441 01:22:40,836 --> 01:22:44,173 Simply by being fully present and listening to someone. 1442 01:22:44,256 --> 01:22:46,842 We can give them something extraordinarily powerful. 1443 01:22:46,925 --> 01:22:48,218 Right. 1444 01:22:48,302 --> 01:22:52,514 And so the journey, Selena, to become more connected to ourselves, 1445 01:22:52,598 --> 01:22:54,600 to connect more deeply with other people, 1446 01:22:54,683 --> 01:22:57,019 is not a journey to somehow transform ourselves 1447 01:22:57,102 --> 01:22:58,103 into something we're not. 1448 01:22:58,187 --> 01:23:01,398 It's really a journey to return to who we intrinsically are, 1449 01:23:01,481 --> 01:23:03,233 - being centered at our best… - Wow. 1450 01:23:03,317 --> 01:23:06,320 …and experiencing our greatest meaning and fulfillment 1451 01:23:06,403 --> 01:23:08,488 when we're giving and receiving that love. 1452 01:23:09,072 --> 01:23:12,367 Mic drop. I mean, that was amazing. 1453 01:23:14,786 --> 01:23:15,704 Okay. 1454 01:23:15,787 --> 01:23:17,289 You wanna come down with me? No? 1455 01:23:33,597 --> 01:23:35,682 "Finish the sentences. 1456 01:23:35,766 --> 01:23:41,605 Strangers who would describe me as… only I know that I am…" 1457 01:23:43,482 --> 01:23:50,405 Strangers would describe you as, like, a warm sort of all-American girl. 1458 01:23:50,489 --> 01:23:53,283 And I think people would be surprised, 1459 01:23:53,367 --> 01:23:56,578 and only you know maybe how complex you are. 1460 01:23:56,662 --> 01:23:58,622 There's a lot of layers to who you are. 1461 01:23:58,705 --> 01:24:00,958 And there's a lot of different sides of you. 1462 01:24:02,584 --> 01:24:04,104 - Oh, sorry. - What would you say, Ash? 1463 01:24:05,295 --> 01:24:06,755 Yeah, I think that's a great answer. 1464 01:24:09,091 --> 01:24:10,092 Okay. 1465 01:24:10,175 --> 01:24:14,471 "Do you believe everyone has a calling? If so, do you think I've found mine?" 1466 01:24:15,055 --> 01:24:17,224 Yes, I believe everybody has a calling. 1467 01:24:17,307 --> 01:24:22,312 I think that you know what yours is, but you don't always choose to walk in it. 1468 01:24:23,313 --> 01:24:24,314 Agreed. 1469 01:24:26,984 --> 01:24:27,985 What do you mean? 1470 01:24:28,527 --> 01:24:30,863 I think that you know the things that fuel you 1471 01:24:30,946 --> 01:24:34,366 and give you purpose in life, and the things that make you happy. 1472 01:24:35,409 --> 01:24:38,787 But I don't think you always choose that. 1473 01:24:38,871 --> 01:24:41,415 Yeah, that's probably self-sabotage. 1474 01:24:42,124 --> 01:24:44,042 Yeah, that's exactly what it is. 1475 01:24:44,126 --> 01:24:45,878 I think stuff being normal 1476 01:24:45,961 --> 01:24:48,463 - or not having chaos… - Right. 1477 01:24:48,547 --> 01:24:51,800 …Is actually uncomfortable, 'cause if you think about it, 1478 01:24:51,884 --> 01:24:54,595 your life for so long, from such a young age, 1479 01:24:54,678 --> 01:24:56,972 has always been chaos. 1480 01:24:58,640 --> 01:24:59,808 - Right? - Yeah. 1481 01:25:01,143 --> 01:25:04,062 So it makes sense. It's, like, more comfortable. 1482 01:25:06,773 --> 01:25:09,943 - Yeah, no that's nuts. Oh, it sucks. - Yeah. 1483 01:25:10,027 --> 01:25:14,406 But the good thing is that you know. You know the things that fulfill you. 1484 01:25:14,489 --> 01:25:15,925 - You know what makes you happy. - You're very smart. 1485 01:25:15,949 --> 01:25:17,826 You know what's not going to make you happy. 1486 01:25:33,467 --> 01:25:34,676 I love you. 1487 01:25:35,427 --> 01:25:36,762 She's a lot calmer, right? 1488 01:25:37,513 --> 01:25:39,393 That's so great. She usually will move her hand. 1489 01:25:44,645 --> 01:25:48,315 I see you, and you see me. 1490 01:25:48,398 --> 01:25:51,276 And that's because I look like your mom. 1491 01:25:53,779 --> 01:25:56,156 - Look at my mom. - Oh, my goodness. 1492 01:25:56,240 --> 01:25:57,574 Do I look like my mom? 1493 01:25:57,658 --> 01:25:58,658 Yes. 1494 01:25:58,700 --> 01:26:00,619 - What? - Oh, the bangs. 1495 01:26:00,702 --> 01:26:03,080 Look at her marrying my stepdad, Brian. 1496 01:26:04,289 --> 01:26:06,416 Yeah, he's been such a great dad to me. 1497 01:26:06,500 --> 01:26:08,794 - That is so sweet. So cute. - That's awesome. 1498 01:26:21,098 --> 01:26:23,141 - Selena? Hey. - Hi. 1499 01:26:23,225 --> 01:26:25,310 - How's it going, girl? - Good, how are you? 1500 01:26:25,394 --> 01:26:26,395 I'm good. 1501 01:26:26,478 --> 01:26:27,479 They don't bite. 1502 01:26:27,563 --> 01:26:28,897 Hey. 1503 01:26:28,981 --> 01:26:30,357 This one's my youngest. 1504 01:26:30,440 --> 01:26:32,234 - That's my cousin's daughter… - Oh, my gosh. 1505 01:26:32,317 --> 01:26:34,987 …and my other two aren't here because my son has leukemia. 1506 01:26:35,070 --> 01:26:38,240 - Oh, no. - So he stayed in at his other mom's house, 1507 01:26:38,323 --> 01:26:40,033 and his sister wanted to stay with him. 1508 01:26:40,117 --> 01:26:40,951 Yeah. 1509 01:26:41,034 --> 01:26:42,536 So we left them there. 1510 01:26:42,619 --> 01:26:44,219 What's that? Are you trying to scare me? 1511 01:26:44,246 --> 01:26:45,247 Do you know who this is? 1512 01:26:46,915 --> 01:26:47,916 It's Selena Gomez. 1513 01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:49,668 My name is Selena. 1514 01:26:49,751 --> 01:26:52,171 The one that you hear the songs of? 1515 01:26:52,254 --> 01:26:53,254 Yeah. 1516 01:27:03,891 --> 01:27:05,893 She's my dramatic one. 1517 01:27:05,976 --> 01:27:07,561 Well, that was me. 1518 01:27:09,271 --> 01:27:11,190 Come here, baba. No? 1519 01:27:11,273 --> 01:27:13,126 - Yeah, you're the alpha male. - I didn't know she was real. 1520 01:27:13,150 --> 01:27:14,234 Yes, she's real. 1521 01:27:14,318 --> 01:27:15,694 Mommy went to school with her. 1522 01:27:15,777 --> 01:27:18,030 She lived right down the street from me. 1523 01:27:18,113 --> 01:27:19,531 Mommy grew up with her. 1524 01:27:19,615 --> 01:27:21,241 Can I have a hug? 1525 01:27:21,909 --> 01:27:23,952 Yeah. 1526 01:27:24,536 --> 01:27:25,621 Does that make you happy? 1527 01:27:25,704 --> 01:27:26,704 Yes! 1528 01:27:28,165 --> 01:27:30,310 - Just wanted to say hello. - Well, thank you. I appreciate it. 1529 01:27:30,334 --> 01:27:32,562 - It was good seeing you. - Of course. It was so good to see you. 1530 01:27:32,586 --> 01:27:34,838 - I'm glad everything's good with you. - Yeah. 1531 01:27:34,922 --> 01:27:37,925 Went better. Trust me, it was a little scary at that point, 1532 01:27:38,008 --> 01:27:42,346 'cause I grew up with you, I knew. So, to see you go through that was hard. 1533 01:27:42,429 --> 01:27:44,598 Yeah. Thank you, I do feel better. 1534 01:27:44,681 --> 01:27:46,016 We love y'all. 1535 01:27:46,099 --> 01:27:49,770 - Okay bye, honey. Bye-bye. - Say "Bye." Say "Thank you." 1536 01:27:55,108 --> 01:27:57,653 When you're struggling with your mental health, 1537 01:27:57,736 --> 01:28:01,865 the essential part of it is knowing what to do 1538 01:28:01,949 --> 01:28:03,492 and recognizing that. 1539 01:28:05,369 --> 01:28:07,579 It's something that I'm not ashamed of. 1540 01:28:10,165 --> 01:28:13,877 I had to relearn things that completely fell out of my mind. 1541 01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:16,755 It was like, "Hey, you're not a bad person." 1542 01:28:16,839 --> 01:28:18,382 You're not a gross person. 1543 01:28:18,465 --> 01:28:21,218 You're not crazy. You're not any of this 1544 01:28:21,301 --> 01:28:23,637 but you're gonna have to deal with this. 1545 01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:26,849 "I know it's a lot, but this is the reality." 1546 01:28:26,932 --> 01:28:33,772 And I found having a relationship with bipolar and myself, it's… 1547 01:28:34,773 --> 01:28:35,774 It's gonna be there. 1548 01:28:36,567 --> 01:28:38,360 I'm just making it my friend now. 1549 01:28:40,279 --> 01:28:43,490 I think that I needed to go through that to be who I am, 1550 01:28:43,574 --> 01:28:45,450 and then I'm gonna keep going through it, 1551 01:28:46,034 --> 01:28:47,369 but I'm really happy. 1552 01:28:50,247 --> 01:28:51,456 I'm at peace. 1553 01:28:53,333 --> 01:28:54,333 I'm angry. 1554 01:28:56,086 --> 01:28:57,171 I'm sad. 1555 01:29:00,424 --> 01:29:01,550 I'm confident. 1556 01:29:02,759 --> 01:29:04,469 I'm full of doubt. 1557 01:29:06,555 --> 01:29:08,432 I'm a work in progress. 1558 01:29:12,603 --> 01:29:13,729 I am enough. 1559 01:29:17,399 --> 01:29:18,859 I am Selena. 1560 01:30:20,170 --> 01:30:22,214 - Thank you for having us today. - Of course. 1561 01:30:22,297 --> 01:30:25,050 I wanted people to understand that what I did for this process 1562 01:30:25,133 --> 01:30:28,387 was giving you guys, like, my heart essentially, 1563 01:30:28,470 --> 01:30:33,016 and see how you would take my words and put them into a record. 1564 01:30:33,100 --> 01:30:34,810 I've never done that before. Have you guys? 1565 01:30:34,893 --> 01:30:36,830 - No, I... Yeah. - Diary entries, journal entries? 1566 01:30:36,854 --> 01:30:38,689 - No, that's super intimate. - 'Course. 1567 01:30:38,772 --> 01:30:40,858 I'm happy we didn't butcher your journal entries. 1568 01:30:40,941 --> 01:30:42,150 No, you didn't.